I need you right now :/ I hate this shit. For so long I gave you the benefit of the doubt and no matter what you did I always blew it off and kept telling myself that everything happens for a reason and that maybe this wasn’t the right time to be together; I told myself for so long that you were worth waiting for and that everything would be ok; I tried to make myself believe what my heart wanted so bad to forget. I tried and when I stopped caring and trying it was always fuck you and everything was my fault like those times I purposely didn’t call to see if you even cared at all. No matter what happened I wanted to believe otherwise, but you made it so hard not too believe at all. I stopped calling and trying to talk to you because in all actuality you didn’t care, but than again, you never did. I was just an easy way out because you knew that no matter what you said to me or how bad you hurt me, I would always be there for you because of the way I felt about you for so long. Nothing I did or said made a difference to you. Thanks for telling me I had a nine year old boy’s body and thanks for lying to me for the last five years. Either I’m blind and people lie to my face constantly or you’re the only one that sees that way. And are you happy now because you definitely got your wish because I’m definitely crying over this like usual even though I know I can do better than you; every time you say these mean words to me it hurts. I should be a lot stronger when it comes to what you say because you’ve been doing this to me for so long but it hurts a lot. So just like you told me, you’re dead to me too. I wish we were still friends. You're the first person I think about calling when stuff like this happens to me. I know you hate me and wouldn't answer if I called and don't respond to my texts, but its always you. I need you more than anything and you're still the first person I've ever truly trusted and I hate how you hate me :/ Fuck my life.