Its not like my blogs are worth reading and I end up deleting them anyway but its about that time where I write in here again. I keep saying that I'm going to write a book about my life; my struggles through the game of life; the pain that I've had to go through and things that I really couldn't accept or want to believe in; the lies that everyone's told me since I was a mere child ... I know that I'm only twenty-one, but boy do I feel like I've been through a shit load of stuff that no one should ever have to go through; I feel as if I'm one of a kind. Every since I was a little girl, everyone's deserted me for one person or another. My dad left my mom for another woman [even though they all disagree on that statement]; my grandma died because she was old and it was just her time to go; my mom's side is feuding completely; I don't see anyone on my dad's side; my brother Keith does drugs and drinks a lot and I think its to escape the reality of life; my brother Jim's death ripped a hole into my entire heart and entire life [a hole I'm still trying to mend]. My senior year of high school everyone stopped talking to me because I quit the team and ruined the chance of going to the state meet for our relay [sorry, but we would have gotten our asses handed to us and I couldn't run anymore for that team]. Chanel stopped being my friend because I didn't feel the same as her about certain things; she was the one person I confided in about everything. Rick hates me because I'm dating someone other than him and all my coworkers don't even talk to me. I work a dead end job because I love it and the pay sucks but I some how manage to survive with it. My boyfriend is the only person that I ever want to be around anymore because he's the one person that makes me feel complete and even though we haven't been dating that long, I swear this is meant to be. It's like we can spend the entire weekend together and the moment we leave each other we wish we could be together again. He's become the one person that I trust more than anyone else because I know that he would never leave me and when I need a friend he's the first person I think of calling. Making the Dean's list for two semester along with pulling off straight A's doesn't impress my family so I tell my boyfriend since he assures me that he's proud of me and that I'll go somewhere in life. It's moments like those where I never want to lose him. There's so much more I need to say, but I'll hold off on making this longer.