Wow, I never write in here anymore and everytime I try to, I have nothing to say. I've become distant again and don't have much to say anymore about anything. I keep a lot bottled up and I bought another journal so I've been writing secretly again. I have a thing about sharing my thoughts with people again and I don't know why. As you all know Christmas is in two days, but since its 10 pm here its pretty much like one day. I'm not looking forward to it but then again I never am. Its one of those pointless holidays where you have to buy people gifts so they don't get mad at you. This marks year number five since my brother's been gone and I try to make it through without crying, but I always fail. I tell everyone that I'm fine but deep down inside I'm still hurting like bad. As soon as Christmas ends the new year will come and I'll make more resolutions and not accomplish one of them. Why is it so hard? Blah ... I might just end this since I don't write anymore :/ If I decide too then I'll let you all know Hope all is well and Merry Christmas