[1670] Qualities and Difficulties

Just finished watching the most recent episode of Parenthood, Episode 18:Qualities and Difficulties. It was a really important one and I couldn't wait to watch it. I usually watch with Timmy online the next day it airs but i waited till it was posted and watched it tonight. I'll watch it with him again later. It made me pretty sad. or angry. I'm not really sure yet. I just know i wish i had parents like them. my mom has been telling me my whole life that i am selfish and entitled and all sorts of names. Even when she thinks she is being nice or helpful, she is vindictive and just mean. I don't understand how she could say I am slefish and entitled and cold and this and that... like i don't understand how she could read my notes or read something or see something about aspergers or hear people talk about it and their experiences and STILL think of me like that. I always go back. I could give a damn about ym dad.. i don't even know him and what i do know isn't that great at all. And I shouldn't want to have my mom in my life. She would be offended by that because she is offended by EVERYTHING i say. but its true. She [and so many, almost every person I've known] has made life so much harder than necessary. I'm not saying it was the worst it could have been or i was worse off then starving or beaten children. But it was hard for me not being understood. And the ONE thing I ever wanted from her... to be HEARD. she doesn't hear me. She never has. She confuses me. She is a hypocrit and she is contradicting. Everything in me says to run away but something.. maybe guilt? idk. something makes me feel ashamed not to be in a realtionship with her. But it never feels good. there are moments. but overall she just brings me down. She makes everything about her. And i wouldn't care SO much about that if she wasn't always saying and telling people that everything is always about me. Because that's a fucking lie. If it was i would have been diagnosed decades ago. If it was true i wouldn't always have been ignored or called a brat. I wouldn't be considered selfish and cold. I think i am actually a very sensitive and passionate and loving person. i just show it differently. She always calls me judgemental. SHE is. She has always been the most judgemental person I've ever known. Especially of me. She isn't like that with anyone else. Maybe here and there but that is all she has for me. Its like she has so much love and caring for a day and she gives it away to everyone else by the time she gets to me all she has is criticism and shame and regret and anything else negative left over.No matter when or how we get together anymore. it ends in a fight. and its never resovled. it just ends because whats the point of fighting for 2 more hours when the first 2 didn't do anything. i am trying. i am reading this book to understand myself and she is more worried about getting me on a diet. She NEVER has anything positive to say about me. Whenever i've brought up or whenever the subject of AS just comes up randomly... she turns it into a fight. she says she believes i have AS. but then she says things like "since when can't you have a 2 way conversation.. you could before!" I don't understand which one is how she really feels. Because nothing is consistent. Its back and forth. If she is in a good mood, i have it.. if she's mad then I must be using it as an excuse for every bad thing I ever did and will ever do. I don't want it to be an excuse for things. I don't want to blame all my problems on aspergers. I want to read about it and learn everything i can because it helps me understand WHY things happen to me and WHY i feel certain ways and that i don't have to be limited by those things. She brought up grandkids last night and i said that she should read the notes in case one of them had aspergers too. She just about fell over. She got all emotional and was like "Don't say that! heaven forbid" and bah blah blah like it was SUCH a bad thing. I mean I don't want my kids having anything. I want them to be perfect too. But that's not realistic. And if my kids do have AS (and its a greater possibility since i do) then i want to know they have a grandmother who supports them and understands them. Because right now.. if i had a kid with AS she would never be left alone with them. EVER. she is way too.. i don't know the word. but she is controlling and manipulative and stubborn. And she turns everything into "poor me". She's always the victim. SHE has support and friends and family and the ability to do things I can't. I am her daughter. Last night she was mad because I didn't ask her about her weekend at camp.  She had brought it up a few times.. i didn't know there was more she wanted to say. I thought I heard about camp. her bus broke down. and she was in diet mode anyways. She didn't ask me about myself so why am i expected to ask her about herself. She has been saying since i told her about AS that she doesn't understand and that she needs me to explain things to her. But everytime we talk. on the phone or in person or whatever. She is closed to the topic. She WILL NOT bring it up and if i do she gets really mad. She almost gets annoyed at me. When she talks about it its like she's talking about a sick dog.. Like she doesn't like bringing it up because it makes her uncomfortable or something. idk. So i don't know why she always has to take everything i do. or dont do so personally. So i didn't ask her to tell me every detail about her weekend at camp. i really don't give a fuck about how much she cares about the girls group and what she does for them and with them. I really dont want to hear about how much time she puts into their lives. I am sick of her putting everything and one before me. Its not my fault i have aspergers. And its not hers. and its not no ones. And yeah i had a sucky childhood. She keeps saying she feels guilty about it and thinks i am blaming her... no. i don't blame her. I just want her to understand me! And this is not being selfish when i say I SHOULD come first! I am the kid! She hasn't understood me my whole life. She hasn't heard me.She has been treating me like a kid, and controlling or trying to control everything about me.. and yet I'm supposed to somehow start tlaking to her like an equal? Like when we are out.. i'm supposed to talk to her like a friend or something? HOW? Even if we had a good mother daughter relationship.. i still don't get how that would make sense... i don't get how its my responsibility to always hold HER hand in things and always have to make sure SHEs ok. No. I'm the kid. I'm the one with the challenges and the need for understanding. I'm the one who she should be trying to help and support and be nice to. When i was molested as a kid... I was the one it happened to.. but her focus was always jason. oh it must be so hard for jason. oh poor jason. oh jasons smoking now? oh well hes been through a lot. o jason is drinking.. well he's just so stressed out. Oh jeni doesn;t want to go to the front of church for prayer!?!?!?!?! WHAT??? SHe MUST have no soul. Oh jeni didn't clean her room or forgot to do the dishes last night!!?!?!? Well now cant see her friends or watch tv or be on the computer. Oh she is doing bad in school?? well she MUST be lasy and disobedient... No. I can forgive her for everything. I can forgive her for being controlling and mean and a jerk and favoring jason and blah blah blah but ALL of it comes back the minute she says the things she says and she always says them. About me being selfish and crap. I'm so done with it. i feel trapped. I feel like if I don't get out of this relationship im going to sufocate. but if i do.. i will feel guilty about it. Which is worse? I don't know. I just know she always thinks the worst of me and i don't like it. I've been tying up my notes of the book Im reading for casey and I've been printing them out for tim and sending them to my mom. I printed chapters 1 and 2 and he read them within a couple days and when he saw me typing more he told me to print them for him because he wanted to read them. I put chapters 3-6 on a chair. I didn't tell him anything, i just said "here are chapters 3-6." and i went and did something else. He read them like an hour later. I didn't even ask him. And last night when i told her "well tim read them" she was like.. "he's your husband. what would happen if he didnt!" like i am as controlling as her.. like i manipulate him into doing things i want him to do just because she does that to people. I don't need to do that. Tim loves me and knows its important. He isnt all talk when he says he loves me. HE SHOWS ME. she doesn't understand that. I could care less about words. she has this new thing where she just says "love" at the end of thigns she says and letters or emails.. IT DRIVES ME CRAZY! literally. not love, mom or "i love you" jsut "love". I don't get it. Love what? And she does it knowing it pisses me off.It doesn't make ANY sense. its an incomplete sentence and its stupid. I wish she would just treat me like i was in her girls group. i bet if one of them had AS she would know everything there is to know by now and say "well i did it for church". everything is about church. Not God.. church! I am so sick of church. She said she fasted for our relationship. and i cant say anything about it or i am disrespecting her relationship with God. UGHH! its so annoying because i am actually trying. literally trying.I'm reading a book thatw ill help me learn about myself and better deal with situations. And she is not eating foods and saying she is trying too? She is obsessed with losing weight. if it was between reading the book and fasting she would choose fasting because it also benefits her. She keeps saying she prays about our rleationship and she doesn't know what to do and crap. But MAYBE God is telling her that fasting isn't working and to just SHOW me she loves me for once. She attributes me coming to grandma and grandpas party to her fasting. Its bullshit. I'm not trying to disrespect God and I do believe in prayer and God and even fasting in certain situations. Not this one. And just like exercise or dieting. One doesn't work without the other to get results. You need both. And ok she's fasting but if she isn't making REAL IRL actual in person actions then.. whats the point? i told her i was upset because she decided to write out.. hand write like a billion scriptures for her girls camp thing last week instead of read my notes. She could have like had peple help her or type them out or something but she picked to do something so time consuming and frivilous knowing how important these notes are. Knowing i would rather her just read the whole book.. but knowing she wouldn't.. and she can't even read a few pages? Its expasperating. She says "im so afraid every time we talk that it'll be the last time because of a fight" well then stop fighting with me. jesus. Seriously i don't get it. The only things i ever want she never does. The whole jason thing. Still isn't resolved. If it was the other way around she would have made me fix it years ago. You know what. Fuck them. Fuck them both. I don't need this bullshit. I have Tim and I have people who care about me. I don't need them just because of this ridiculous universal concept that blood is thicker than water. Because sometimes that just doesn't apply and if people have a problem with that well then FUCK them. I WONT let my kids be around such a negative environment. I wont let them be treated the way i was and if that means they dont spend as much or any time with my mom and certain members of my family. fine. She can go ahead an dbe scared because she pushed me away again and I'm NOT going to be the one to fix it this time and I am NOT going to accet a relationship based on HER terms ever again. IF she wants a relationship with me then she will have to FIX the Jason issue. AND support and understand aspergers and not always try to attack me for bringing it up or being myself. Thats all! If she cant do that then fuck it. FUCK FUCKFUCK FUCK FUCK. She always got mad when i said the f word. But she said it like 3 times last night. Hypocrite. I can't stand the double standards. I first heard the term "double stadard" from her and I first understood what it meant by living with her. I cant stand it. It makes me sick. It makes me mad when she says how much she wants grandkids. Why? So you can treat them like crap? Why? Because you did so good with me? Why because i'm not enough.. you think yo can get a do over. I'm still here. She wont come near my kids until she can change. From what I see, she's just getting worse. Maybe she'll never change.But I'm not going to just let her treat me like crap "because she is family". And people who do that are stupid. A mean person is mean. All mean people are related to someone . serial killers and rapists have parents. Aspies are considered stubborn and think differently but i think its stupid when epople get on my case for not being in a relationship with my mother. like i'm bad and its my fault. to me that is stupid and stubborn and ridiculous. maybe aspies are normal and all these "typical" bitches are freaking insane.

 

 

 

 

580 hit(s) pee in my bucket  
Comments
March 3rd, 2011 @ 10:24am
No, It's not you're fault. My mom and I had the same problem for a long time, but we had a very long talk one day and it really helped. Maybe that will work for you? I hope things get better for you! Hang in there.
March 4th, 2011 @ 1:02am
thanks. I'm glad you and your mom could work it out.. I'm not sure about my mom though. Every time we see each other we have at least an hour long talk.. and its always the same. and it seems like it just gets worse. i feel bad but trying feels pretty pointless at this point. :/ o well.
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[1258] You never missed a...
[1257] Mental Abuse
[1255] very tricky
[1254] The Fall
[1252] Denial Never Hurt...
[1251] Ahhhh
[1250] Yet Again
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[1462] Forgetting is a sin
[1461] My Dress
[1460] how now brown cow
[1458] The Basics
[1456] the littlest mermaid
[1455] Helpless.
[1454] Forgive and Forget
[1453] Retraction
[321] Don't read me, I have a...
[142]I dont want to run...
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[1450] 321 Penguin!
[1449]
[1448] High Above the Trees
[1447]
[1446]
[1445] Mama Mia
[1444] I Dream In Wishes
[1443] Save the Date
[1442]
[1441]
[1439] Eyes Glued To His
[1438] You Call It Fate, I...
[1437] Banana Pancakes
[1435] It Felt So Wrong, It...
[1434]
[1433] Cmon Cmon
[1432]
[1431] And I liked it...
[1429] Love and Marriage
[1427] Artificial flavored...
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[1426] I landed on the island...
[1424] Not Again..
[1423] How do you know?
[1421] Cuz I'm always on the...
[1420] Pictures
[1419] 4th of July
[1418] Wusband and Hife
[1417] Call It Karma
[1416] Viva Lost Cell Phone
[1415] It could be the same...
[1414] If you had a chance to...
[1413]
[1412] Maybe Not
[1411] Family Fued
[1410] I'mma New Soul
[1409] Maybe Monday
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[1408] Taste these teeth...
[1407] One Banana Stand At A...
[1406]
[1405] Zingy Zingy Zingy
[1404] Early Bird Gets Nothing
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[1401]
[1400]
[1399]
[1398] It Starts.
[1397] False Pretense
[1396] My eyes are melting
[1395]
[1394]
[1393] Hello Kitty
[13 92] Friedly Fire
[1390] Hands Down
[1389] Oh Sexxay...
[1388]
[1387] Like A Desperate...
[1386]
[1384]
[1382]
[1381] Mini Roses
[1380] "MOO"
[1379] In the Hole
[1378]
[1377] Rock the Cradle
[1375] As Soon As You Start...
[1372] Run Baby, Run
[1371] And it teases you for...
[1370] Images
[1369] The Closer
[1367] Release
[1365] Stop and Stare
[1366] What Gets You Through...
[1364]
[1363]
[1361] Easter Eggs and Karma...
[1359] Michelle My Belle
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[1356] BAH!
[1355] Some People
[1354] Hmm
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[1350] BEYOND
[1349]
[1348]
[1347] Imagine All The People
[1346]
[1345]
blank
[1343]
[1342] A Job Well Done?
[1341] Daily News
[1338] My Foot Is Asleep
[1337]
[1336]
[1333]
[1332] Simple and Plane?
[1331]
[1330] Bendy Straws
[1329] Is Narnia in the...
[1328] I'm A New Soul
[1327] Hermit Crabs Are Gross
[1326] Last Last Time
[1325]
[1324] Juxtaposed
[1322]
[1321] zours
[1320] It's You
[1318] Setting the New...
[1317] He likes how I shake...
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[1313]
[1312] MVP
[1311]
[1310] superimposed
[1309] very funny
[1307]
[1306] The Definition Of A...
[1305] Homemade Cards And Die...
[1304]
[1303] I Can't Deny
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[1300] Oh
[1298] Pointlessness
[1296] Not To Brag..
[1294] The White Stuff..
[1293] A Matter of Time
[1291]
[1289] Just Get Over It
[1288] Well
[1286] Makin Babies
[1285] Ginger Bread Houses
[1284] Jam and Pim
[1283] Oh Man
[1282] Thankful
[1281] Half Alive
[1280] Hundreds of Pages,...
[1278] Phantom of the Opera
[1277] The MEat Of LOve
[1276] So, So I Don't Know
[1274] For Little You Or...
[1271] Happy Feet
[1270] Epic
[1269] Liife is Wonderful
[1267] This Isn't Hollywood
[1265] That's What HE said
[1263] I was so
[1262] Boys Like Girls
[1261] I Am Over It
[1259] I Feel Good All Over
[1258] Running Right Behind...
[1257] Officially Unofficial
[1255] Naked Lunch Is Natural...
[1256] Blue Jean Baby
[1254] I Know Everything...
[1253] Footprints On My...
[1252] harlequin girl
[1251] uhm
[1250] Graphic Design
[1248] That's
[1247] Well..
[1246] Sunday Morning
[1244] i might disappear
[1243]It's too...
[1242] Like A Drug
[1240] hear me out
[1238]
[1237] Aww and AHHH!
[1235] Santa Cruz
[1234] Painting
[1233]
[1227]
[1225] Pencil Sharpeners &...
[1223] Why not..
[1222] Nothing without you
[1220] just another survey
[1217]
[1216 1/2]
[1214] i need a poptart
[1212] Kelly Anne
[1211] running away
[1210] yellow and lime
[1205] Let it be
[1206]
[1203] It's Official
[1202] BLAHHHHG
[1099] Across The Universe
[1201]
[1098]
[1095] title and registration
[1094] Are You Ready To...
[1092] I shot you in the face...
[1091]
[1090] whatever what?
[1089] breathing
[1087] finish this later
[1086]
[1084] like a raindrop
[1082 1/2]
[1082]
[1081]survey thingy
[1079] this is a reminder
[1078]
[1076]
[1075]
[1074]
[1072]
[1071] funny face
[1070] p50
[1068]
[1069] and eat it too
[167] renee is gay
[166]skoozy
[1065] Couch
[1063] I dont care
[1060]
[1058] The Rest
[1057] finding neverland
[1054]
[1050] no title.
[1048] radio on
[1047] in other words..
[1045] If you ever had a...
[1043] I hold sunlight &...
[1042]
[1040]
[1039] going nowhere
[1038]
[1036] The way I am
[1033] bridal shops and zuma...
[1032] my only one
[1031]
[1029] hunger
[1027] POP goes my heart
[1026] tooools
[1025] bodily functions
[1024] Gravity
[1022] photoshop 101
[1020]
[1019] diligently doubtful
[1018] TSS
[1017] not worth mentioning,...
[1014]
[1012]
[1013]
[1011]
[1010] BAH!
[1008] oh, you're alone
[1007] mind boggling
[1003]
[1002]
[1001] "sup"
[1001]the real 1000
[1000] and the winner is!...
[999] spanglish
blank
[985] and makes me realize
[986] Makes Me Wonder
blank
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[982] the last couple years
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[980] your hands are mine to...
blank
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[977] and all the kings...
[975] commonplace occurances
[974] there aint nothin to...
[972] nothing gold can stay?
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blank
blank
[967] i think not
[966]
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[964] shooting star
[961] double sided tape
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[954]
[953] i hate sleep
[952] Going to the chapel &...
[951]
[950]
[949] I cant think of a...
[948] All about those words..
[947] Geek in the Pink
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[944] Hits her like a ton of...
[943] adhesive bandages...
[942] Ryan Atwood?
[940] sibling rivalry
[939] he's gotta be strong,...
[938] one day i slowly...
[935] walkign and singing...
[932] amanda must die...
[930] In a flash...
[929] Humphry Bogart stole my...
[928] timmy fry fry
[927] i got you babe
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[918] Don't let the..
[917] August I'll see you...
[915] cuz its sexy
[914] january 6th
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[910] This Christmas
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[909] wow i wrote alot of...
[908] Thailand or bust
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blank
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[904] coffee break
[901] Best buy blows
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[895] parinoid
[894] Curve balls
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[891] almost alive
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[889] this could be different
[786] cold stones and warm...
[785] globalization is...
[783]
[781] screw it
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blank
[779] From the freeway
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[763] tonight
[762] boring again
[759] boring
[760] top of the mornin to ya
[758] no name face
[757] pretty much...
[752] i cant find my phone...
[750]
[749] dirty pirate hooker
[747] things change...
[744] on wednesdays we wear...
[745] ash hole
[746] i guess..
[740] mondayness
[743] it helps
[742] 21st
[738] fine.
[739] i hate myself
[735] So Little Purpose...
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[732] well..
[731] Bianca Bear
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[729] yeah..
ahh.
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[719] Mothers Day
[718] Jefferton
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blank
blank
[714] one thats all your own
[711] X-games continued
[710] X-games
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[707] Country Time
[706] We'll hide indoors
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[704] Cuz I Cannnnn
[703] my depth perception
[702] Innocence Again
[700] the plan
[698]entry title
[697] In the FACE!
[695] In Roswell
[694] Shirt PUrses
[693] One Word...
[692] Now You Know
[691]
[688] Number Two
[685] just catching up
[684] Sit D is Healed
[683] Gotta make that mottor...
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[679] Entirely Useless
[677] ya know..
[675] Straight Up Now Tell Me
[673] ANother Way
[672] Blame It On Bad Luck
[671] December 9th
[670] All You Wanted
[649] Until this echo can...
[648] Hey
[667] 8:40
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[664] Douse the lights
[665] i tried to be...
[660] All In Your Hands
[659] subside
[658] Caricature of intimacy
[657] & paying in naivity
[656] whats best?
[653] It starts
[652] "How Are You?"
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blank
blank
[647] So contagious
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[646] The Art of Growing Up
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[643] Tomorrow is the new...
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[641] but its better if you do
[640] storage
[639] heart & soul
[637] so far
[636] writers block
[635] titles are overrated
[633] Raindrops on Roses
[632] 5:15 and beyond
[629] lunch backwards is...
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[627] I'm the new cancer
[626] TRY
[625] swing kids
[624] knmsdn
[623]untitled
[622] Hippie Monkey
[621] A quick one
[618] Viva La Difference
[617]
[615] CABOOSE!
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[612]
[610] Just this once
[609] What Good Is It?
[608] Pour it out
[605] 6:25
[604] teddy grams and kelly...
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[602] thingy i do
[600] Blank
[598] PG
[596] Unthinkable
[595] ...on both accounts
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[592] On a day like this
[591] Take my breath away
[589] forever to get here
[588] survey
[587] sos
[585] so this is the new year
[583] back in black
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[580] christmas
[579] Nite before Christmas
[577] Click here
[575] Brown and baige
[574] Indestructable
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[570] Chicken Little
[569] Out and about
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[565] American Reject
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[562] the taste of saint...
[560] Turks!
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[558] Marriage and divorce
[556] Hey tony!
[555] PICTURES?
[552] Beachen'
[551] Whatever
[550] The Travis
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[547] Not gonna happen
[545] Like Fandango
[544] Cute in the rain
[543] Shocker
[541] cereal killer
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[539] TWO stupid to count
[537] bleh
[536] All sortsa time
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[533] unfinished
[532] Keep me in tune
[531] Hoctober 31st
[530] literate and stylish
[529] water fills these open...
[527] too good to be true
[526] ESPN or something
[524] Picture this
[522] Lime Flavored
[521] What gives?
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[517] Worth the pain
[513] 20 questions
[512] Dear Diary
[509] burts bee's
[511] meow, isnt that nice?
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[507] I ate carrots
[506] five O six
[504] That simple
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[502] Throw it back
[499] September ends tonite
[498] Juxtapose myself and me
[496] Walls of Porn
[495] Mommy dearest
[494] NUTS!
[491] Cuz after all..
[490] sendin me straight to...
[489] Shrinking?
[487] a glimpse
[486] YAy for that
[485] weezererererer...
[484] So deep that it didnt...
[483] No heavy thoughts
[481] pink pops and red eyes
[480] pictures cuz i can
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[478] CASTLES IN THE SKY
[477] Turn It Inside Out So I...
[476] Big Brothers
[474] Short and Stout
[473] The M word!
[472] Gaps in History
[471] Oh guess what
[470] my heart is spoken for
[468] the biggest yellow...
[467] Goodwill
[466] Crazy Selfish
[464]
[463] Left Unsaid
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[460] monday
[456] A Good Scream!
[455] When I wanna be
[453] Incoherent response
[452] No Friends
[450] Fall to pieces
[451] Delta pics
[449] For a week at a time
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[447] I can't live
[445] its all in you
[446] Always something
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[442] I'm a notebook?
[441] Ventura theater
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[438] Feel and felt better
[436] ndusfsduifbsdfg
[435] Dont put it out with...
[434] 1 Month
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[431] Boys are like
[430] Nothing
[429] basically
[428] For a week
[426] Like riding a bicycle
[423] i like bruises
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[422] Delta whAAAt?
[419] sean & jeni pictures
[417] "whAAAAAAA?"
[416] coOOOOOokie crisp!
[415] frikken whoa
[414] yawn
[413] TGI Friday
[411] live a colorful life
[412] For you only
[410] Accuse me?
[409] How much longer will...
[408] duckie hearts P-tree
[407] freak out
[406] wanna bake me cupcakes?
[404] i have a sean?
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[400] 400!!!!!
[399] Beachen'
[396] new season
[395] pictures!!!
[394] are we in space? do we...
[393] mmmmHMMM!
[391] water is for quiters
[390] I love lamp
[389] But i just keep tryin
[388] kick me
[382] Look at the MOON
[385] To make plans and...
[381] suck
[383] show time
[382] pictures are fun
[381] to eat or not to eat?
[380] why do u wait on me?
[379] yeah. but what color...
[377] i think i might just..
[374] something unpredictable
[373] If you see a change in...
[371] such sweet sorrow
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[367] the roaring 20's
[364] poo poo
[360] heh.. 360 eh?
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[356] Entry Title
[355] you make me wanna "la...
[352] Who am i?
[343] The spectrum's A to Z
[342] Kiss me I'm romantic!
[341] Oh! Oh yes indeed
[340] We looked like giants
[339] DOH!
[338] TOM WENT TO THE MAYOR!
[337] Shhh don't tell!
[336] The dingo ate my...
[335] Little miss apprehensive
[334] Shoes on the ceiling
[333] lalala da bears
[331] And ended so soon
[329] PANCAKED...
[328] Red lettered day
[327] My life....
[326] Baby eys
[325] Does evil exist?
[323] So sick of being tired...
[321] Noticing Nothing Again
[318] Sat and Sun
[316] You + Me = Us
[315] Not Even A Little Bit
[314] Love and Angels
[313] Bu-bu-bu-bunnies are...
[312] R is for Rawr
[310] Are you ugly?
[309] a new start
[308] I hate them all
[307] not going anywhere
[306] 3 In The AM
[305] I dream of... Justin...
[303] I'm invisible
[302] It's Over
[300]THE
[298] when they doubt
[297] Hmm.
[296] nope, not at all
[295] unfinished
[294] Tehacha' what?
[293] And Yet
[292] not finished
[291] Tom Boy
[290] HASSELHOFF!!!!
[285] NOWWWWWWWW!
[287] ninja what?
[284] sing that song for me
[282] EEK!!
[279] gentry
[280] Dun na na na
[277] The List
[275] For Once
[274] my pet wombat
[273] It Does...
[272] Like a donut?
[271] ouch, my liver
[270] misery or missouri?
[267] Space Up In My Head
[269] If You Can
[265] what i was expecting
[266] nothing
[263] In your head
[262] and nothing but the...
[261]
[260] two-sixty
[259] heart in a blender
[257]
[256] i can't feel my arm
[255] stomp my face to mush
[254] apples can runner fast...
[253] every little thing
[251] and i was like...
[250]
[249]
[248]um yeah?
[247]i got it at ross?
[246]after the glow
[243]sing it out
[244] kiss me on the mouth
[245] what would you name a...
[242]psycho supergoddess
[239] everything she had
[240]2 all you mother truckers
[238]one line at a time
[233] a theory of my own
[232] whistle while you work
[230]GO billy GO!
[228]Hope your doin well
[227] yeah yeah uh huh
[226] BOOGErs!
[222] adam wasn't there
[221] emotionally exhausted
[220] endless rain
[219] SAl farted on my arm
[218] hi and hello
[217] The fireman told me
[216]if peter pan was naked...
[215] forever temporary
[214] I cant count to...
[213] Butcher's Hook!!!!
[212] iron your lips
[211]Have I told you lately?
[209] who knows what entry...
[202] I'M RETAWDED!
[200] Where have all the...
[199]
[197] 2! 4! 6! 8! WHO DO I...
[195]Its been a while
[191] urg
[192] Even if...
[189] Save the Night
[187] NIKOLA!
[184] my bonnie lied, so I...
[183] Denial, revisited
[181] Blink 182??
[180] OoOOOooOOoBArAcUdA!
[179] mexico pictures finally
[177] I saw your butt and...
[175]thursday night
[174] Its the end of the world
[172] BOP!
[171] Monday Maddness
[170] Hecho en MexicO!
[169] the nite before mexico
[168] SO lame
[166] climax coming in my way
[165] the magical sitar
[164] hungry eyes
[162] Onion rings are...
[161] To Grandma's House She...
[160] THE CAR SHOW!!!!
[158] Polka dancing chEEt-O...
[157] monday
[156] picture this...
[155] pretend for you
[154] one for the road
[153] Didn't tell myself
[152] thoughts compressed
[151] dental floss and remote...
[150] puddles of cream cheese
[147] the cow talks!
[145] an entry to skip
[146] A nice balance
[143] ursala 1000
[140] SO lame and very much...
[139] hollywood horror
[138] and would you...
[136] Say Sneeze?
[137]Say what?
[135]Nothings wrong
[134]so fresh and so...
[132] dont read..
[133] and and and... is DNA...
[131]
[130]the word is oi
[129]look a duck
[127]
[128] fade away real slow
[126] Duckpond
[125] Leona said...
[124] Feed the Sheep
[123]P-P-P-PICTURES!
[121]He needs salt
[120] volcon logic
[119]Incandifamous
[117] ear-lee-ness
[114]It starts
[111]cheerio darling,...
[113] EVERYWHERE!
[110]SO HI
[109]what a hippo called...
[108]tish-a-moo's
[107]and I said whoo whoo
[106]jellyfishing...
[105]Once upon a german...
[104]Eat Our Chips
[103]?sselesnes detsiwt?
[101]Dalmations
[102]100!!!!!!!! BOTTLES...
[100]I LIKE EGGS!
[98]dun dun dun
[97]WHOOOO are you? who...
[95]14 DAYS!
[94]Give me a...
[93]Double what?
[92]pb and smuckers jelly
[91]JENI'S GOT A GUN!
[89]TARZAN RAPED MY FOOT!...
[90]Stringy cheese
[88]Sunday
[86]THE MISSING ENTRY!
[87]BE HAPPY!
[85]Bite my face
[84]Nothing more than...
[82]what flavor is the...
[80]Loads of Laughs
[79] looks like butt
[78]I see bad people
[76]Sitting on the letter...
[74]Warm Bricks and...
[73]so move your car
[70]boys-n-berry chapstick
[69]GET A SIT DIARY!
[68]Its whats for dinner
[67]PICTURES
[66]On behalf of an Ox
[65]BATMAN!
[64]The angry entry
[63]Utters
[62]if u noticed me
[61]Green Pants
[60]i eat rubber bands
[59]break your yoyo
[58]this is a boring entry
[57]don't know why
[56]ducking donkeys,...
[54]KIG-NIG-ITS!
[53]butter scotch tomatoes
[50]hand to hand
[51]Saddened
[49]granny smith apple
[47]gahhhhhh
[45]the size of a peach...
[46]drink my pee
[44]GONE
[43]what if I am a...
[42]and that's what I had...
[41]RAZOR BURN?
[39]Blind Mangos
[38]Effective Butter
[37]Funny Soaps
[35]shoelaces and where...
[34]braindead ducks
[33]Hello kitty committee
[32]and the fork jumped...
[31]I woke up
[30]so I burnt down your...
[29]Boring Bisexual
[28]Bohemian Rapshedy
[27]The berries taste...
[26]turkeys
[25]in my hands again
[24]chunky soup and...
[23]the HAPPY entry
[22] GOOD...
[21] I have to peeeeeee
[19] December 6th
[18] Happiness is Just...
[17]Nothing More Than...
[16]i am happy and I know...
[12]Leaving Spatula
[12]No More School
[10]KB Wasn't Home
[9]15 minutes
[8] And A Side of Buffalo...
[7]Just another day
[6] Head. Shoulders....
[5] Boys Hurt Me
[3]that sucked
[2] Um this is just...
[1]1st entry... EXCITING...
1415 post(s)