It happened :] I found my dress. Its weird how you know when you see it even tho i had my doubts, in the back of my mind, at first glance.. i knew. it was nothing like what i originally wanted. but then again the dress i first wanted was for a more formal wedding, a chapel wedding... but this dress is more casual, cute, but sweet.... and funky. i didn't see it at first. it had beads all over the place... well on top. on my booobies part. but she cut them off right there and it looked so much better. Even then i wasn't convinced. i had my dress in mind and i thought swaying away would lead to regret later on. but the more i wore it, the more i liked it. its not white. i always wanted a white dress. but since we're already married, i don't mind that its not. if we weren't, then it might be another story. some people probably don't think i deserve to wear white anyways. and it makes me sad. that some people will be thinking thats why i didn't... but i have to forget about that because when i do, its the perfect dress for the wedding we're having. romantic, but young and cute at the same time. unique. me. we made some changes on the spot and it tied the whole thing together. I'm sort of tempted to post it right now, but i know timmy reads this and i don't want him to see it. he says now its even because he has a surprise for my birthday that i have to wait and see and now he has to wait to see my dress. it was right at what i budgeted for the dress, but with the deal we're getting on the cake, it sort of evens out. for now. I'm really trying my best (and by me i mean my mom mostly...) to cut corners. its hard tho. note to self: don't forget to re print envelopes for tims dad, mom, and another one. and send out. in other news. i am probably going to be a mothers helper for a while... maybe just until the wedding. its for a couple who lives a few streets away. $12-$15 an hour 2 days a week.. not much but i think it'll be okay since i will be planning anyways. timmy said i should take it and try to get something else on the other days. and then i can try try try again to find an actual job or maybe i'll have a little bit saved up to go to school again. oh. i think with the dress i got, if we played a song together... it'd look really cute. hmmmm. i should go to bed.