its almost here. our 1st year anniversary of being married... and its been so wonderful and so hard and so confusing and so amazing and sooo... lots of contradicting things. I've heard a few different places that the first year is the hardest.. and if that's true than we're pretty lucky... it wasn't as hard as i would have thought... i mean... a whole lifetime of married life waiting and this is smooth sailing from here? obviously i know its not going to be easy.. maybe its not that it gets easier... but you get better at dealing with the hard stuff that it just seems easier... either way... i think we're doing really good. considering... well.. nvm. but there is a slight hitch in our happiness and its my fault. all my fault. absolutely 100% my fault. but I'm working on it.. doesn't seem to make much of a difference.. but that's all i can do at this point. but he has been the most patient husband i could ask for.... seriously... i don't understand how he does it. I am almost done with New Moon :] honestly... the whole middle section of the book bored the hell out of me... i forced myself to read until Edward made his first appearance... i found myself reading, eyes hardly able to fight open until birds started chirping outside... that happened 2 nights in a row! i mean it was an ok book... but not for me.. the whole reason i like the story is for bella and edward... i wanted to throw the book across the room every 5 seconds. plus... the ridiculous connections. it was a little too hard to read at first... it reminded me way too clearly of november and jason and timmy and stephanie and the "HOLE" and the emptiness and it was crazy how Stephanie (the author, not the wretched whore who tried to steal my fiance) wrote down everything i was feeling in those months. things i couldn't even say. geez.. to have been able to read it WHILE i was going thru it.. might have actually helped.. but to read it after... just drudges up painful old memories i try really hard to forget sometimes on a regular basis. but it did eventually get better... :] i have the hiccups. hmmhahumhumhmhmhm... still looking for a job. maybe then i will have something interesting to say....... until then.....