I hate living here.
My mother is soo selfish. The only reason she even wants me here is so I can pay her rent and such. So I can help HER. Even tho SHE is the parent and she should be making my life easier. ALways saying I need a job but look at her.. she has been working at a NONprofit organization for like 10 years.. she hasnt had a real job since the pregnancy center and even that wasnt that great. She's such a hypocrite about everything. I dont even know why she wants me here for anything but that reason.. I had tim come to the house like every single night for a long time when we first started going out again because i know how she prefers that.. but she would act so stupid.
and EVERY conversation is about something negative or something i didnt do or money or a job... and I know everything she says but she says it a million times and Im so sick of it. And every time she needs to have a "serious" talk, she does it infront of SOMEONE. anyone. she loves to do it infront of her friends but tim and family work too. ANd I always look stupid because if i dont say anything then it looks like she is right.. but if i try to defend myself than Im being disrespectful & infront of company. I hate when she does that and i tell her but she doesnt listen.
Then when the girls were over, after carpenteria, we were in the kitchen and corina brought up the conversation we had at the hotel. about this guy she likes. and she was teasing her. and afterwards she started crying and saying that WE (corina alisha and me) make her feel stupid ALL the time infront of people... the only person there was tim. first of all.. corina did it not me. and second of all WHAT? wow she felt stupid one time. and infront of MY fiance. I cant even count how many times she's made me feel stupid infront of tim. like every time she gets us in the same room she has to think of something.
Anyways. So Ive been going over to tim's until like 1am. The other day i left at like 7pm after a big fight and her girls group was there. I had a jacket on and a purse when i left.. like always.. and she calls me and is like "I saw you leave with a backpack.. i dont know what your planning on doing.. staying the night at tim's or what.. but it isnt cool.. and blah blah blah".. what the hell? and i could tell she said it in front of her girls group thing. just so she can talk about how awful i am with them. she's such an idiot. and then a couple days after that she's accusing me of staying the night at tims and coming home at 6 or something in the morning everyday. If she reeeeeeally thinks that then i might as well right? Its actually a pretty good idea. I think jason already caught on. he leaves at all sorts of hours in the morning and comes home at like 6am. and does he get crap? no. he leave all night sometimes and doesnt even come home tilll the next night and does he get crap? nope. why? cuz "he's out with his friends" whatever. he's out with his girlfriend having sex. she's so blind.
she has a spare key to my room which she said was only incase i lose mine. But she uses it whenever she wants in. more than once or twice. like over 5 times already and Ive only been home 3 months. today she opened my door and told me about some guy who called from a job thing. but she already left me a voice mail about it yesterday and she could have just left a freaking note on my door.. or knocked. After every freaking fight she blames it on me being engaged. what the heck is that? I dont even get it but what else is new.. nothing she says makes sense to me. and im soo sick of trying to figure it out.
Recently every time we talk, she always ends it with an accusation about moving out or something.. its like SHE wants me to move out and is trying everything she can think of to get me to. And this all happened with like 5 minutes of contact all week. how can someone be so annoying in such a little amount of time? I really hate her. physically hate her. I get sick to my stomach when i hear her voice. I cant stand it. i mean, i dont even want to be here. if she thinks Im moving out I might as well just move out. the only reason she wants me to move out anyways is because everyone felt soo sorry for her when i left the first time and she was the poor innocent mother with the troubled daughter and now she's just a stupid bitch of a person. when Im home thats all she'll ever be.. so i can see why she'd want to run me out of here I just think she should grow some balls and just say it already. i would be more than happy to.
I guess the one good thing about living here would be learning how not to be when I have kids.
Read 3 comments