i guess honesty is the best policy.... DUH! oi.. Im a frikken idiot. ok so fine.. here goes... i do love brett. but i dont know... i didnt think i loved andres. but i dont know, you know that saying you dont know what you have until its gone? well yeah. I didnt know. i should have but you know... Im a frikken idiot. and i do love brett... and i have feelings for andres... those feelings are love. ok? I love andres. i guess i denied it.. cuz i didnt think it was right to love 2 people at the same time. i dont think its possible. but i know my feelings for andres are stronger. not from when i was first with brett... cuz if you compared my feelings for brett then and my feelings for andres now... feelings for brett would be stronger. but that was then. i lost some feelings along the way. I mean long distance relationships never work out right? and we held on for pretty long. But no matter how much I dont want to hurt brett... it would hurt more if I let him believe all those feelings were still there. and its hard cuz i do care about him so much and i do love him. but i love andres... more. nice how i figure this out after the fact. and im such a moron. and everyone is right.. whoever is telling either of them that im not worth it... cuz look at the situation... its ridiculous. im ridiculous. Im not going to lie. If I could.. I would tear myself in 2 and be with both of them. but i cant obviously... heh. so... I dont want to be with either of them. not like that. i wish i could be both of their friends. i wish things werent so awkward. things are going to have to change tho. no more aloneness for one. cuz i am an idiot. ouch my tummy hurts. i dont know what to say but theres lots... but im gonna go for now.