We had to put Moose to sleep.

He was getting worse so we took him to the emergency clinic in Thousand Oaks. we didn't want to because that is the same place we went with Penguin and of course that didn't end well. But it was the closest and he was getting weaker by the minute. They were jerkier than ever. The place was COMPLETELY remodeled. that really pissed me off. maybe if they skipped the frivilous details they could lower their prices and save some lives... uhg. well. anyways. to stablize him alone would cost nearly $3,000. Then we would need to do surgery on the intussusception which ranged between $3-5,000. and even if everything went fine, that's $6-8,000 at least and still a possibility he would have FIP anyways and die in a few weeks. even if he didn't have FIP, because he was so weak he might not survive the surgery. in fact they said they might not be able to get him stable again since he was so anemic. uhg. i hate that place. we called the people who we bought him from. only vets were telling us that we might want to consider euthenizing him.. we wanted advice from people who cared about him. but they agreed. he's too small. and intussusception would need surgery fast or it would be fatal and there was such a small chance of them surviving surgery. we both agreed anything would be better than having him die in that place. so we decided to take him home and have a vet come euthanize him at our home. It went too fast. I didn't realize it would be so fast or I would have slowed it down or asked her to wait or something so i could say goodbye. but it was like 1-2 minutes and he was gone. I am dreading the results we get on Thursday that will tell us if he did or did not have FIP. i know it was a slim chance he would have lived even without FIP but if he didn't have FIP... part of me would have wanted to pay anything for him to survive. but kittens are so weak and he was so tired. he was so brave though. He didn't whine or meow or anything. he was so good when we took him to the vets. everyone loved him.

i knew we would just cry all day like when Penguin died. so we went out. got food. went to kohls and bought some clothes. and then chase and monica came over and hung out. that helped a lot. I'm sad but crying wont bring him back. and once i start its hard to stop. and when i see timmy cry i cant help but cry. its a never ending cycle.

tomorrow me and monica are going to topanga mall. she needs heels and i need interview clothes.

RIP Moose. I love you. you were THE best kitten. Everything someone could want in a kitten. So hyper and playful and so cuddly and lovable. So funny and so entertaining. So calm and patient. So fluffy. So brave. Our sweet boy. We'll miss you.