today was good. I went to uturn. good message by pastor sheldon. I wanted to talk to someone and pray with someone so I talked to pdk. and we talked for quite a bit. and he is so wise and i love pdk so much. He alwaysa makes things so much clearer. and even now i am remembering things he said that i had forgotten he said and im like.. huh. thats good. i love getting males perception of things. but sometimes even those arent always the clearest or truest perspectives.. pdk is blunt and everything he says is truth. and alot of stuff he pointed out made me think. and deep down i knew what he was saying all along but im a butt and ignore things. and he pointed out stuff and its ok. Im not going to keep beating myself up. Im not going to get all crazy sad or hurt. Im just going to accept it as is and in the past and move on and try to keep my head on straight. heh. pdk thinks so much of me and i hate it but love it at the same time. cuz he's one of those people who, no matter what i tell him... anything ive done that i think is so awful... he'll still love me like always and be there for me like he was today. basically, out of the whole convo i left with the errie realization that all men are, in the words of hamlet "naves". anywho then we went to church and they did a whole service about missions of this last year. i had no clue i would be going up there today until pdk told me this morning. but its ok. i didnt have to speak or anything. i want to go again. anywhere. it was such a great experience and i had alot of fun and i know alot of lives were touched. theres ireland, belize, i think africa or something, and morraco. I dont know where or even if I'll go yet but i hope i do. I decided to go on the senior snow mobile trip instead of the intigrate snow mobile trip cuz this is only once and intigrate is ages 18-25 and it's every year so i have 6 more years for that. I hear the senoir trip is really good and pdk said it wont be any fun without me. hehe aw shucks. i went to the mall with andres cuz i wanted to show him.. omg i forgot... haha... the whole purpose of going to the mall was to show him this cool picture thing i want to get my brother. I couldnt describe it so yeah. and we didnt even see it cuz i forget everything. but we went to lunch at red robin and wow.. i never had a red robin strawberry lemonade. wow. goodness. I saw my friend jayson on the way. miss that kid a bit. he saod "call me" but he keeps forgetting i dont have his number. or he doesnt care. anywho. he had to go to work so he dropped me off at goodwill. I was just looking but um.. u cant put the jeni in goodwill with money and expect her to come out empty handed. hehe. i got 2 pairs of pants. a couple tops and a sweater... that i might take back and get another pair of pants cuz they were blue. "gee i wish i was back at the army. the army really wasnt bad at all..." that movie... with all the singing and girly nonsense. white christmas. something. i forget what its called. work was ok. went by fast. theres a new guy named thomas. he is monica and that other new girels friend. but but Monica got fired! grr. i liked monica. she was so nice. she was using store credit and apparently thats not allowed. which is gay. ross is so gay. haha matthew asked me how i liked being "sick" and i said i loved it. he asked where i went and i told him and asked how everyone coped without me. he said "oh it was awful. everyone was running around screaming what do we do?! and no one had any ideas. I broke down 3 times" then i called him a cry baby. i was talking to abram and kathy and abram is gonna teach me to do register. and then anna will have no reason not to put me on register. yeah. thats about all for work. except i hurt like poo cuz of the boxing at jakes party. oi. sal picked me up. we had a long convo. i didnt even want to talk about anything. but he always insists. but its ok. i guess it was better that we got it out there instead. but grr. but i doubt he still reads this but if your reading this sal, Im sorry for being so short with you. heh. it happens. but it shouldnt. the movie is over. anywho. tomorrow i work at 8pm-12 am. which means i probably wont get home till 1 am again. grr. and thats 3 days this week! and! i only have 16 hours this week and the new new girl has 18 hours.. and thats not alot either but its more than me.. stupid gay ross. ah! i am officially starting my fast now. now. now. now. k bye.