The obsessions of my past. Biting me in the ass. Yea. I'm still lonely, I only have myself to think about and obsess over. I need someone to love. obsess over, and care for. But recently I've realized maybe thats not even possible for me. I'm doomed to spend forever alone. I haven't cried in a while maybe I just need someone to bring me tears. I've been thinking about my future and who I want in it. I would just love to play pretend like I always do. Can't I just go on pretending I'm so happy. I tried to pretend that Jeff doesn't hurt me by him not calling, that I really wish I didn't mess up everything in my life including all of my relationships, or that I'm not lonely and always hurting.--