I care so much about what his mom thinks of me. God, I was so nervous yesterday. I didn't want anything to go wrong. I don't know whats wrong with me I haven't been able to sleep good. I wake up every hour or so. From bad dreams that scare the hell out of me. I can't even talk about them. I'm distant b/c I don't know whats wrong with me. I've tried not to think about it and just put whatever it is behind me but its so hard. I just don't anything anymore. I don't think its confusion just worried about dumb things that I can't stand to even talk about. I do know I need to talk to Dean but I don't know what it is thats bothering me. God, Whats wrong with me this time?-- [Update] I spotted tonight. I like layed in the bathtub and cried.--