Body spray and peanut butter crackers don't mix. Of course I am okay, I did spit it out. I thought I was going to barf air with it. B/c I didn't have anything in my tummy. I took a diet pill today. I was hungry and I took it to make my stomach stop. It made me feel so much better. I did something that I haven't done in 6 months. I got the idea from someone. I do feel better b/c of it. But I still feel like shit. I have nothing to be happy about besides this research paper I'm doing in English. Which is great. I love my teachers, it's like they understand my depression and stress. I feel distant that I'm just some body only feeling up space. And that I'll never be happy until I become a mortican. I have to be a nurse to get some money and maybe I can intern at a funeral home. That would be a dream come true. I'd rather work with dead people than work with people who only complain and think they have it so bad. I do that so I don't need anyone else to do that to me. I've already said it all. I just walk around being called ugly and feeling useless. I have to get busy on my paper and forgive myself for being so stupid.--