I wish I could only care about making myself happy. But I have to care about everything else also. I weigh 108 now. I hoping to keep that weight instead of going 110, 109, 105, 111,106...and shit like that. It all depends on what I eat and how full I am. My depression is causing me to sleep more and the more I sleep the more sleepy I am. I'm smoking a little less. Maybe like 10 cigarettes a day instead of 15 or 20. I know I need to get help. They say untreated depression can lead to suicide or a adulthood of worse depression than I have now. Maybe with manic episodes. Oh yea I'd like to see me get married then. This crazy ass women who never could make up her mind who she loved. I'd be more messed up than I am now. Ahhh.. That sounds horrible. I have to get some sort of treatment or therpy to help me. Maybe when I become a nurse I can afford a doc. Hopefully by then I'll already have one.... I doubt it.