I calmed down a lot and I'm ok now. I keep wanting to stop cutting then I start back. I don't know what to do. I just don't know anything anymore. I'm getting my name changed to my s-dad's last name. I want to. But I hope its not as bad as I think it'll be. I assume no one will notice. I don't want a big change like that but its just a last name. But like he says its just a name. But if its just a name why does it matter if I change it or not. It was so excited when I told him I was going to do it. I loved seeing him like that. I think I'm doing it half b/c I want to and half b/c I like to make him happy. Actually I wish I could make everyone happy but I'm too damn stubborn. I couldn't do it anyway. I'd get too mad. I hope to find someone. I really want a relationship. Oh well..--