I woke up about 1:00 PM. I used to wake up about 10:30 AM but not anymore. Least I'm getting my sleep. And lots of it. I woke up just in time to watch my favoritest movie, Grease. That was a great movie and still is. Ummm.... my life has resulted to this. Blah. I something to do. I might ask Sharon to bring the baby over sometime this week. And get my book back from Laurel since we do have to talk about some things. Maybe it just wasn't right. I don't know. It just seems stupid how I can't actually like anyone else. I'm cursed with the no loving gene. Jeff hasn't called or anything and I don't likely care anymore. If he doesn't want a daughter he doesn't have one anymore. And I know when he dies I'll be there crying wondering why he didn't love me or try to do anything good for me. Wondering why he didn't call me on my birthday. God damn it, I'm 18 now I don't need anyone to take care of me or guide me. I can follow directions nicely. I don't need him. But I do still love him as I think I should love the man who helped create me. But whatever I have more things to worry about. I think I'm begining my depression again. Of course I'm not going to take any pills. I don't want to depend on anything to keep me sane or alive. Hopefully this depression will kill me this time. I can't take this repeation of this depression.--