I'm trying my best to remember the depressing time I had. But now even listening to Marylin Manson makes me happy. I'm mostly always happy about something. I've been hanging out with one of my friends Amanda. I've going to her house for the past 3 days and I'm going today also. Its fun. Although I'm scared of jumping off the diving board but I did it anyway. I have to face all of my fears. The ones that are looking me right in my face I don't even realize it. The fear that maybe no one cares and I might even care now. I care about the dumbest things. I had a dream of my exg/f's cousin Jessica from Hamlet. I made out with her at a party and I dreamed we made out at school. It was nice but it confused the hell out of me. Usually my dreams mean everything and that one meant nothing. I don't know.--