I watched one of the old episodes of Digrassie today, (The one where the red haired chick gets caught for cutting and has to start cauncelling because Page rats on her). Well it realy got me thinking and it kinda scaired me. I looked down at my arms and I expected to see cuts covering them everywhere like I use to see, but all I saw was scars, healing wonds from the past. It's been a verry long time since I last cut, (about 5 months). I guess what scaired me is that my cuts use to be all that I could depend on, all that I could rely on besides Kenndal. They use to be my life, and it's still kinda hard for me to emagine living my life without my constant securiety blanket of cuts. I'm still fighting this thing though...that's all I can do. I didn't find out what my baby was today. I juzt had a regular check up because the dumb ass Dr. forgot to put me on the ultrasound list, so now I have to weight until next week to know. Tha shitty thing is that I could have found out tomorrow, but the only slot that was open was at 12:00, and I guess tha fucker wanted his lunch break or something. I don't know. It realy dosen't matter though because at least I know my baby is still healthy because he checked the heart beat again and it was normal. I'm sooooo....happy! I can't weight until next week!!!