I feel...I don't know. I juzt want to talk. I need James right now realy bad...and yet i'm not realy feeling bad. I have an allarming sence of calmness, or maybe it's juzt that I am numb. How can I be nomb and feel such love? I guess I'm not numb then am I? I feel so alone, and yet even now I feel James' arms wrapped around me. I feel safe and secure, yet I fear for my life. Damn my contradictions! Nothing will be right until our family is together. I'm trying like hell to do everything that I can to make it that much sooner...it juzt seems like the whole world, besides James and Louie, it trying to pull me down and dround me and all of my dreams. I want to be free and fly from this place. I want to love and to be loved. With our dreams juzt around the corner, I know that I must press on. I want to release every emotion inside of me but that of love. James and I are so close...we are deffently one being. I want it to alwayz be like that, and I know it will 4~alwayz! We are different pieces of the same puzzle. Together we are everything that we were ever ment to be. It dosen't matter if we're good or bad or inbetween or anything, juzt as long as we are truly ourselves. I never knew that I could ever actually be me...and now I am me. I don't realy know what this was all about...but oh well lol...enough of my rambling. I'll forget what I wrote here in a min anymawayz lol. I love Louie and James 4~alwayz!!!!!!!