How can a day change so much? How can I be so happy and then feel like I'm falling apart? So Kayla basically told me that James has been lying to me and cheating on me with Spencer. I haven't talked to him yet. He's supose to pick the Biddy up at 5:00, so I told Jenna to tell him that I wanted him to come by after he picked Louie up, but I don't know if he will. I'm realy scaired. I don't want to know that everything I've ever believed in was a lie. I don't want to live a lie either though. So Spencer knows that I might be sick from what Kayla says. How the hell would spencer know that if he didn't tell her? She told Kayla that she can basically have James any time that she wants him, but that she would make him have a 6 week run of penicellion before she has sex with him. Spencer said that she talks to James all the time, and that he told her I was trying to controal his life and change him too much. All I ever wanted to do was show him love. From what Spencer said, James and her were still having sex even when James and I were dating...I don't know if they ever even stoped having sex or not. I'm so scaired that it's all true. It dosen't matter. I love James with everything that I have. If he wants to be with Spencer I will let him. I love him is all I can say...I juzt love him. If this is true I don't know why he would do this to me. All I ever tried to do was love him and make our lives better. She also said that Bobby, (James'a Dad), hates me so much that he tried to get Susen to offer James money to finish colledge as long as I didn't move in with him. I remember when she offered that at my school...I didn't think it had anything to do with Bobby though. I don't know what to feel but pain. Please God don't let it be true. Let the love I know be real. Please Lord don't let me have fallen for pritty lies again, because all you get with pritty lies...is sad goodbyes.