I don't even know...sometimes things seem so confusing...other times they seem perfictly clear. All that I know for sure is that I love Louie and James and that I will 4~alwayz! I don't know how I'm supose to feel about anything else...I don't even realy care. For some reason I seem to be depressed right now...I guess I'm having withdrawls from James lol. Yesterday was perfict, as is everyday that I'm surrounded by my true family, (Louie and James). I juzt alwayz want to be what they want and need. I try with everything in me to make James the happiest man alive, even when I am sad. He dosen't fall for my false smiles, but sometimes he pretends to juzt to make me happy. I love that about him. James alwayz knows exactly what I need. I swair he does make me turly happy!, but as he said juzt as happy as he makes me, Daddy and my situation in life makes me sad. I juzt want to be swept off my feet and wisked away, and that's exactly what James wants to do to me. I'm such a fairy tail looser lol. I juzt want what every little girl has alwayz wanted. My proble is that I want it more than anyone ever has before, and I won't settle for less now that I have found true love in James. The first time that I saw James, I realy saw him, the real him. I didn't see anything that he was or had ever been. I saw who he was ment to be and who he would be with me as encouragement. All that I could ever ask from him is that he loves Louie and I and that he is the true James, alwayz and forever. I guess that's why at first he didn't understand why I asked him not to smoke weed, when I knew that he did before we started dating. it was because I want him to be the best man that he possably can, not juzt for me and Louie, but for himself. To me, it seems like he's had problems all his life with having faith in himself and feeling that he isn't good enough. I want to show James always that he is the best man that I have ever met and that I have faith in him with everything, and that he goes way beyond, "juzt good enough", for me an dour family. James is everything...he is more than I could ask for. We complete eachother and that's the way it's supose to be. We are parts to the whole. We are from the same puzzle and yet we are different peaces that fit together perfictly to form the puzzle of our life together...to form the puzzle of happieness. I love Louie and James 4~alwayz!!!!!!!