Just the way he looks into my eyes...He makes me feel like me. I'm crossing that berriear to the other side. I'm becomming who I was alwayz ment to be, Louie's mother and James' loving wife. Everything is falling into place. It's taking alot of hard work from all sides. but I have complete faith in God, James, our love, our family, and with James' help I have even been able to gain faith in myself as well. I got daddy locked up for hitting me while I was holding Louie. It's so hard not to hate. I have to release the pain everyday. I have to let myself be free. But this time I don't need my own physical pain to justify all the hurt inside. He made the 1,000 dollar bond, and now it's going to be dropped in court, but that's okay. We only have 4 more months to weight until our family is together 4~alwayz! With the help of God and James, I have been able to cope quite well with some of the harded parts of my life here lately. My love for Louie has helped greatly as well. I want another child with James...I can't help it. I long for it with my soul! I juzt hope that James dosen't blaim me for it and I hope that he knows it my needing only stems from our love, which is the most beautiful thing in the world! Watching the Sundays go by is a little depressing. I want to find a church, (most likely Catholic), where I can feel safe and feel the love of God in everyone, and a place where both James and I can feel completly comphortable, and Louie to feel the same as well. Louie is our son, all we need now is to be wed in the eyes of God so that our family may become truly compleated. James and I went to the hospital the other day. He is now, has alwayz been, and will 4~alwayz be the father of our child and our future children. There has never been another. I have never loved and have never been loved, until I looked into his eyes. I love Louie and James 4~alwayz!!!!!!!