So I fucked up and I'm cutting again, but god it feels so fuckin good!!! I juzt wish that I could talk to Bailey! I realy need to fuckin talk to her for some reason, but her phone is fucked up and now I'm scaired that things won't be tha same again. I mean it's fucked up 'cuz we were making progress, and now I don't talk to her for days again! Oh well everythings fucked! I wish that SunnyBoy was still alive too!!!!!!! It feels so damn good to be bleeding again!!! I mean fuckin 9 months is a long as time not to cut if you've been cutting since you were 9yrs old like me! Well...atleast I know I'm me again. Everytime I stop cutting I turn into someoneelse and I'm not completly me anymore. I'm fuckin glad to be back, but I wish Bailey was here too! I fucked up big time though by cutting my wrist because I know that if daddy see's that shit he'll do everything he fuckin can to fuck my life up...not that he's not doing that already. He alwayz has to make everything so god damn complicated! I only cut once on my wrist and then put make up on it, so hopefully he won't see it!!! I cut 6 times on my thigh though. Fuck it! I don't fuckin care anymore anyway...juzt as long as I have Louie everything will be okay! No one will ever be able to fuckin take him away from me!!!!!!! I don't know why I can't stop thinking about Kenndal, but I juzt can't! Every time I try to fuckin close my eyes, his face is right there! I don't know what tha hell is going on with that, but it's making everything verry fucked up, because now I'm not sleeping at all! I still love him and I still want him more than anything besides Louie!!!!!!! I've been thinking about calling him, but I don't think I'll ever get the nerve, because although I love Kenndal, I still hate him more than anyone ever!!!!!!!