Ummm....I feel okay I guess. I'm a lil worried about some crap that Amey is gonna try to cause, but I talked to alot of people and I think it will be okay...or she can go to jail lol. I actually love my life for once in my life. I juzt wish I didn't have so much dramma going on all the time. I also wish that I could let my emotions out when I need to...or in some cases now days let the right emotions out. How can love show as hate??? or hate as love??? I feel kinda good though. I realy like this one song called My Black Daliah by Hollywood Undead! But yeah that was off subject huh? Oh well screw it. I think I'll play it again. I want to spend more time with Boogie! Since I moved in with Daddy, we hardly ever have any one on one time. I can't believe I've been living with Daddy for so long...it seems like yesterday...but it's realy been quite a few months. But then again when I think about it, it seems like a long time ago since I was in faster care and had no one and no life. Compared to then I'm doing pritty damn good! I juzt miss the walks Boogie and I use to take and I miss our conversations. She is a completly different person than me and yet we are so much the same. I realy love her and her individuality! I hope that she dosen't have to suffer to much in life. She is realy smart, weather she knows it or not. I love listning to her talk about her pholosifies (can't spell) of life and juzt about everything else. Her quorky little relationships crack me up though, because they remind me so much of my past relations. I hope that we don't grow appart again and that she will know I'm alwayz here for her no matter what. I would juzt like to talk to her again for a change...it kinda seems like her life has been to buisy for me here lately...oh well. I don't realy know whats going on with me and Daddy here lately...Everything seems to be going good for us these last few days, but before that it was hell. I think my hormones are juzt going crazy. It's so hard for me to show any emotion here lately though...or the right emotion. I want the people who I love to know without a doubt that I love them...but it's so hard to express anything...what the hell is wrong with me??? I don't care really right now though. I feel pritty good...but it feels like there should be more to it. My love for Daddy isn't causing me any pain and I'm not use to that at all. I've alwayz thought that if it dosen't hurt, than it can't be true...Could I have been wrong with that theary??? I mean it hurts like hell when I'm without him, like when he's working or I am or...but it dosen't hurt like it use to. I don't feel like my world is going to end if I don't see him in the next five minunts. Is that because I trust him??? IDK. I mean I trust him, but I don't know if it's the reason I don't feel pain. I feel myself growing up and it scares me. I litteraly feel myself growing. I still screw up. I mean everyone does...but everything seems to be okay...even when I'm not happy, even when I am, or when I'm sad or mad...I know I'm where I'm supose to be and I feel myself growing with that and growing to except that I don't have to be in pain and torment all of my life, nor do I have to live a perfect life with no pain ever...I finally get the chance to live a true life. I like it that way...who would have thought that this princess could live outside of both a hidden tower surrounded by dragons and deamons, and a castle filled with nothing but harmony and happieness? Who would of thought that I could excape it all and live with my prince charming in the real world??? I realy love it this way! Heres to my two sweet beautiful babies! I love you both and I love your Daddy too, he's the sweetest man in the world! My family is the only one for me. I can't weight until our new baby is born or when we know if it's a boy or girl! But I love you even now my beautiful baby! The Biddy is a trip! and the sweetest thing in the world! He's getting to be so big and beautiful. I prey that God continues to protect and watch over this beautiful family that he has alowed us to have! Mamma and I have become realy close again it seems. I go to her for most everything...it feels good having someone to talk to sometimes. I love also that Daddy and I are opening up to eachother up a lil more here lately. I still wanna know so much more about him and I want to be able to show him so much more of who I am and who I'm becomming. I want also to be happy for him not juzt on the inside, but where he can tell it's true. Daddy needs a break! I've been ridding him a lil too hard here lately...I realy think it has alot to do with hormones though, because I love him juzt as much as I ever have. Please lord let my be nicer to Daddy! I love him and I'm so lucky to have him!...I want him to always know thats true!