it aches... and it hurts.... But it is the only thing in the world that is holding my head up.. They ache....I am sore....I wish that it would go away... I like the feeling..but at the same time....I'm tired....I don't get enough sleep... I don't really care anymore......life is boring.....and I have nothing to be excited about.... I said good-bye to Josh today...I will most likely never see him again...I will miss him..just like everyone else... In everyone else's life.....they have something going on..... I am to busy for anything anymore....oh well....life will go on... I miss Coach..she needs to come back soon....I miss having fun at practice...even though I do have fun....I think I like the rain....but not when I have to swim in it....oh well...I will get over that as well... I miss Sammy.....I wish I could relive those best years of my life...(so far anyways)... I miss.....how close me and my friends once were...we are no longer that way....(school and stuff messed that up...things just aren't the same anymore)... I hate how everyone takes things that I say so offensively.....maybe I just shouldn't say anything.... But I can't help it..I can only shut up for so long.....and it's not very long... School is almost over..but what do I care...I have to work...I am excited about it...don't get me wrong....but.....I don't know...I don't even really get a break.....but I want the money...and I know that I will get into it..and I am working with some really nice people.....people who....make me laugh... We get to have guard parties...and climb up the slides..instead of going down....I want to beat Tray's record... Tray........he is so funny....I met him for the first time today...we immediately became friends...which was really cool....... We hung out all day...me, him, and Megan O'dell... It 's going to be fun this summer..I just have to get used to everything... I'm scared kinda about my job...what if someone drowns...and no matter how many rescue breaths I do..they still die...what if I forget what to do at a critical moment during my shift..??....It worries me...which makes me want to remember better...which means that I should study some more...which will stress me out...so I won't... But ..what if? I don't want to think about it.....no one ever writes me anymore..I guess that's because I don't write anyone anymore either...so...I am to blame... I like my Head Lifeguards..they are so cool... Katie Clements is working there also...which I hope will be fun.....I really hope that it will be anyways... Timmy, Hunter, Erin, Missy, Tray, Jen, J.D., Chris, John, Cory, Keri, and just everyone...they are so cool.....and this summer will be a BLAST...even though I am a little nervous.... My entries used to be so deep, now they are shallow...and they don't really mean anything...oh well... Tray thinks that I will be the darkest out of all of them by the end of the summer....I have to agree..since I'm the only one black there...it will be fun anyways...... I wonder if Scott...Teresa's boyfriend has a brother....because there was this guy that I was partnered with to do spinal passive drowning victims, and he looked like Scott...exaclty....I think that they look like twins...just.....this guy is older..so yeah..anyways...I will ask him later..when he gets back on the computer... Anyways..now that everyone is bored out of their minds.....I am leaving .... bye!