For some reason the dogs started stirring at 5 instead of at 6. Annoyed, I woke up to let them out and the fed them. I quickly went back to bed, trying to ignore Bus's pining from the other side of the door. When I finally came to, at about 9 o'clock I discovered the back door open and mud all over the wood floors. Normally something like that, when I just wake up would cause me to do one of 2 things. Swear, or simply cry. For some reason I found it really funny, and giggled to myself as I cleaned up the dogs and mopped up the floor. :) Ugh. It's snowing. Bring on the sunshine and warm sunny days. I spent the night alone at the house. I was nervous about it because the place has a really vacant and unfriendly feel about it. I can't go in the basement even in broad daylight and I won't sleep down there even though I know I would get a better sleep down there, away from the puppies yelping as they dream. I couldn't even vacuum the stairs without looking over my shoulder every minute because of the back chills and goosebumps making my hair stand on end. I was afraid that I wouldn't make it through the night without crying, or leaving. But it was ok! I went to bed around 11 because I couldn't stay awake any longer and Stella didn't start barking when I turned off the lights. I think that when I have Abby sleep on the bed with me it calms her down or something. Anyways, it was nice to be with 3 big dogs because they would definitley alert me if something was wrong. I slept deeply and dreamlessly with no feelings of other beings in the house and no strange thoughts that could potentially cause me to become paranoid. As I fell asleep I tried to think of some happy memories. The one that filled my head instantly was the twirly slide at the park that night 3 years ago. We'd been playing the slide game and were nestled together at the bottom just breathing and talking. It was nice. I thought about how he pushed me on the swing and told me about the stars. When we floated down the canal and built those sweet little rapids. How we were trying to be really quiet trying to get his bike out of the back of my car and ended up jamming it and laughing really hard. I still find it hard to imagine that we didn't get caught. And then I had to call the next day and apologize for keeping him out later than he was supposed to be. I thought about the time that he poured water into my hands at the top of the slide, and the adorable smile that played across his face as he did that. The waterslide games, and the word swapping. I thought about how when I walked into his room a year ago and saw the drawing that I did for him on the top of his dresser, framed and everything. I remember it felt so good. Thinking about him has made me realize a couple of things about myself that could be considered bad or good depending on how you look at them [ as is the case with most everything]. I'm going to need alot of attention from the man that I end up marrying. He's going to have to be very patient and in tune with what I need. I'm the type of girl that's going to need to be told when I look cute. When I come home with new purchases he is going to have to get excited and ask me to put on a fashion show for him. He's going to have to comment on how nice things are and he's going to get excited with me when I tell him that I got it all on sale! He's going to help me do my hair on Sunday mornings and he's going to write me little notes saying sweet nothings. And of course this all goes for me as well. I plan on doing his tie, making him breakfast in the morning, and commenting on how he looks good in everything. I'm going to have dinner prepared for him when he comes home from work, and after dinner I'm going to do what I can to help him relax. He's going to be adorable with our kids. :) --------------------------------------------- I'm feeling sick. This congestion needs to die, and the headache can accompany it.