I'm glad that Sara understands me. It's nice to be so compatible with someone. I'm rude. I know ok? I know that it's completely unreasonable that I feel fine with giving Sara a ride home, but not Sam, even though Sam lives closer then Sara. I ignored her when she talked. She tried to make jokes, at which I didn't laugh. At least Sara forced a laugh, I wasn't even nice enough to do that. And when she said goodbye I said "bye" like I'd wanted her gone for a long time. But at the same time, why would I force a laugh when I find what the person said not humorous and even some what stupid? Why would I act like I like them when really I'm sick of them talking about their ex-boyfriend and how mad he makes her? Why would I act all friendly when honestly..I don't care? Because it would be the "right thing" to do I suppose. *sigh* I just can't do that. I wish that I could pretend to like people. I can for a while, but then I get tired of pretending and I get sick of forcing laughter, and strained smiling, and looking interested in what their saying when really, I end up hearing the last couple words if anything at all. I should probably just tell the person that I find them uninteresting, boring, and even a little annoying and frustrating. But then....there's the thing about not wanting to be rude. I suppose that just pretending when I don't really mean it could be just as bad.... .... but at least they don't know it. I stepped out of my box today. Instead of just getting a turkey sandwhich at Subway, I tried the chicken, bacon ranch sandwhich. It was really good. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Later 10:02 p.m. I just got back from Ryan's house. I had a blast and had lots of old memories suddenly come flooding back. They were watching football when I got there and then Brian and I went and looked at Ryan's bookshelf. Wow. I got really excited. He had those "Where's Waldo" books. I haven't seen one of those in years and I remember as a little kid I used to love looking for Waldo on all the different pages and in all the different designes. It was so cool. Ryan and Wade played with me. I love those books. Then we found a million "I Spy" books. They weren't as cool because we got frustrated and gave up looking for so many of the items it was a wonder why we attempted to look in the first place. It was still awesome. So many childhood memories. So many fun old books that I loved to look at. Hot tubbing was enjoyable. However, by the end we were all sitting out of it because it was so effing hott . It was good though, made me all sleepy and comfortable all over. Ryan said I was hot, which I kinda wish meant something more to me, and I'm probably going to hike the Uintas with them sometime soon. Lifes incredible. ♥