i dont like how i'm acting lately. i dont like how i'm terrible to my friends. i dont like how i'm always upset in my head about something. i tell myself when i wake up everyday to be happy and not be mean to anyone. i get to school and right away i'm mad in my head and i'm constantly hurting those around me. someone is happy and i sit scowlig wishing they were as miserable as i. someone is having a good day, or last night was awesome, and i cant be happy for them. in my head nothing is awesome, nothing is good, nothing is happy, so no one else should be. this is twisted and sick. i'm twisted and sick. i'm wandering without purpose and i'm lonely. surrounded by hundreds of people standing in the middle, everyone walking around me, feet aching, my legs hurt, i'm sore, and i'm not moving, i feel so alone. i'm freezing and burning up at the same time. i saw you walking with your girlfriend so i gave up the chase. my head pounds with unshed tears. please come up to me just so i can say something mean to cause you to walk away. please keep my mind off of all the things i'm missing tonight. sit there and shake your head as you look at my "grade-check." i'm a terrible person. i'm an ugly girl. i'm a chewed up rasin that's spit out by an unloving child. i wish i was a shoe.