i like speeding on my way home from the beach. i'm never driving my car, it's always someone else's. only slightly worried about crashing and killing the passengers. i like speeding. i'm in this self destructive mood that cant be good. not like, self mutalation, but like i dont care what happens. i'm anxious and wondering about nothing and everything. i'm eating doritos and drinking orange juice. i was sitting on the beach earlier, it was dark, night, and it was lovely. i like it a lot more away from the bon fires and sitting with only one other person. i was sitting with three other people and they had their cell phones, with cell phone screen light breaking the darkness. it bothered me slightly. i'll go back one night and sit there with one other person. and we can talk. but we dont have to, because i can sit still and listen to you, or i can sit still and no one has to speak at all. we can listen to the waves breaking and our eyes will adjust to the darkness and it will be lovely. yes it will. but right now i feel like i'm waiting for something but nothing is coming and i'm not tired and i'm just here...here....here...right here...