i'm not forgetting anything am i? confrontation, and i'm not dodging conversations. it's her that gets up and walks away from me. it's her that hangs up. calls back. hangs up again. it's her. but all is well. all is settled. i dont care. really i dont. but all isnt settled when it comes to a different human. the sound of her name stings but i smile if i see her. jealousy is disgusting and i'm always swimming in it. whether it be my jealousy or someone else's drowning me. i dont know. all i know is that i'm unsure about a lot. everyday there's something new that someone is complaining about, or something new that i need to complain about. gah. i wish not to care. a lot of times i dont care. a lot of times i'm really heartless. a lot of times. it took me a while to figure out why i was "upset" at her to begin with. "you're better than that." that's what i came up with. it's true. i know. i'm not lying. i try not to lie. i dont lie. i promise. and my promises Do count right now. -amanda