I want you to love me, Someone. I want you to think I'm worthy. Can I be? I find myself cuddled up between two Somethings. I'm so comfortable I could fall asleep. The best part is always about to come. Listen to me pretty figure. I could be your friend forever. I just have to work on many things. Some things. Simple things. I don't think it would be right to stop, to give in, to move on. I don't think it would feel good. But I didn't think the prick on my finger would feel good. It did. I think I'm going to feel like an idiot for a while. It seems like something that is right. "Amanda? Oh yea, she's an idiot." Come on everybody, I'm just wallowing again. That's what I do on Sundays. I didn't feel so fat earlier. Geeze, you're brilliance. All weekend I've been wanting to hang out with Chris so I could redeem myself. But I don't call people. That's my thing. She calls me. He calls me. They call me. I wait. I move. I dance. And then I miss Katie. I want her around. She understands how I want to change some parts of me, but I hesitate because I dont want Reaction. It's intimidating and frustrating, because those two adjectives can happen at the same time.
See you on the other side.