i always seem to dodge the terrible teeth of Father anger, but it just seems to happen that way. i wasnt caring today about the rain falling on my head and my bag getting damp. i walked very slow to my locker and opened it and didnt get anything out. i bought a ticket to a dance that i dont really want to go to, but i have to, just to ease my own thoughts because i'd rather go than sit at home and dwell on what i think they're doing toghther. i drove her home and went to mainstreet with him and preteded to be the boy and he pretended to be the girl. i opened the door for him and let him go first. i told him that shirt didnt make him look fat when he asked me. i laughed. he laughed. we sat in the car for a bit with the windows open, letting the cold air and cold rain come in. i dont care about anything when i'm with him, that's not right. i hate myself for that. i really do. i drove him home and stayed there for a bit, until i felt it was safer to go home than stay any longer. i wanted to stay. i went to Omnifriend's house and drove Zach's car around the block, i like mine better. Father called, yelled at me for not telling Mother where i've been for the past four hours. i said sorry, i forgot. when in utter reality i didnt care, i thought about calling numerous times, but i did not. why am i so much worse than my older sister? then i came home and smiled and was sweet and i dodged the terrible teeth of Father anger. how do i do that? you seem to be in a good mood amanda. maybe i am, for once. -amanda