are you busy? because i really want to talk. i really want to cry again. crying feels really good. have you ever noticed that? and i cant seem to get it out of my head. into my head. hah. and why do i even sit there observing? i dont need to watch fake people go through the same shit as me. except...it's all fake. fake emotions. fake expressions. and i'm wasting away. i'm really just, well, i'm right here. i'm right infront of you. and i know he, he's right infront of me. but i look at him as hard as i can and there's no way. there's definitely no way. you look at me but you always look away. always. why cant something real happen? something real happen to me? something accurate and important? something frustratingly beautiful. i want it to make me cry. make me cry in a good way. a way that makes me feel fucking wonderful. i've never felt that. i've never felt a lot. done. for now.