you think about some things long enough they start to dissapear. like trying to imagine your face for too long will make me forget. overdosing on daydreams during something important. trying to look away when you're staring in the mirror for too long. how strange is that opposite world. like a portal. but we forget it all and i'll never get through. you'll never get through. i have some sort of emotion for you, but i cant figure it out. i can't title it because it doesnt have a word. you look in the dictionary and what does it tell you? nothing. nothing of my heart/mind/emotions. but that's alright. i'm content. i'm not screaming, no ones screaming in my head. no ones disrupting. i had so much to say i couldnt say anthing. i think too much and things just start to go away. i miss the girl that was nice to me without needing to be. i dont know what i'm missing, but it's something. the thing is i can't tell people that because they wont believe me. they think i hate her. i dont hate. i'm going through this "hurt" thing that details my awareness and bashes me down. maybe i felt something, i feel something, but i'm thinking of it differently now. -amanda