i've lied too much lately and my parents hate me for it. this i understand. and this i seem to not care about. i rebel without trying to. i really dont try to hurt you or them. i never do anything wrong, but i do everything wrong. do you understand? because i understand that you dont understand. i've lied a lot lately. i've lied a lot and everyone i've lied to has found out. i dont care, i really dont care. it's like a relaxing numbing feeling. trudge home, going over what you're going to say when you get to your destination. walk in, through the door, i dont say anything i told myself i was going to say. i rebel without trying to. i really dont try to hurt anyone. i'm just trying to live without doing "bad" things and in this "trying to live" process i'm fucking everything up. i'm sitting at home. the whole day is over. everything is over. i cant go bak, i dont want to. i've lied too much lately, i'm sorry. -amanda