my ears started leaking automatically. it happened before my eyes could because i didnt want my face to get blotchy. so i tugged and pulled at my ears so maybe they would stop. i'd rather have nothing than leaking ears, or eyes. why am i existing? i dont believe in everyone having a place, everyone having a point in existance. I dont believe i'm going anywhere other than in the earth. i'm sure it feels better to have faith. but why am i here now? i dont want to die, but i'd like to know if there is something to look forward to. i'm not looking forward to tomorrow. i'm not looking forward to two months from now. i'm not looking forward to decesions and bills and, all in all, life. i'm not looking forward to that. i dont want to have to stand it. every part of him kills me, good, bad, it kills me. i dont want to know about any part of your life unless it includes me. i'm a selfish bitch. i know this. fuck, i'm tireddddddd.