touching. i dont care about grandmother's woes and i dont care about auntie's woes and i dont care. i really dont care. i'll struggle with emptyness as she shivers as she kisses me as she tries to control the shaking of her voice as she tells me she's leaving as she takes her purse as she walks out the door. i dont mind hurting. i dont mind hurting her. i dont care about grandmother's drama and i dont care about auntie's drama and i dont care. you listen to the telephone ring, you press the reciever to your ear silently begging him to pick up. you know he hears it ring, wherever he is. he's waiting on the corner for you to show up. he's sitting at the table with the other girl. you listen to the rings ring countless times and you press the END button when you feel the pointlessness settle in. i dont wish for work. i dont wish to save. i dont wish to be a hero for anyone. i'm tired. i'm sore. i'm sweaty. i'm hungry. i'm needing a break. i'm needing to let go. we tried to have fun last night. Chuck Palahniuk is my savior. hey Chuck...lets do lunch. -amanda