he spoke to me as if i was a child that couldnt understand the feelings of others. i guess maybe i am. but i understand exactly how they're feeling. i do. i really do. i just dont know how to help people that are always sad and feel for someone so much it hurts. i dont know how to help people like that because that's the kind of person i am. and i cant even help myself. so...if i cant even help myself how can i heal their hurts? and then he said i guess you're supposed to depend on them the way they do on you. i dont know how to respond to that. i sat there and thought for a long time. my hands were shaking and i really dont know how to respond to that. dont i depend on people? and then i think. i really think about it. i dont think i do. i really dont. depend on someone, i depend on two human beings. depend on them for shelter, food, and a ride home. i depend on my parents and thats it. mommy and daddy and some day i'll leave them and i dont know who to depend on. he's too intensely beautiful for me. -amanda