so many days have i wanted to take an object and penetrate my skin and see the blood as it oozes out all red and fresh.
but i remember that people might find out. they'll call me emo again. it would only cause more problems.
and so many nights have i cried after an argument with one of my parents and thought of how soon my death could come at this rate. how they are pushing me to the edge. everyone is. i can't blame them.
i'm a horrible horrible daughter, friend, and person.
but on a lighter note...
i got home and got the mail and there are two things for me. i open the thing from my clarinet tutor first.
she sent me the card of the picture we had talked about and a little good-luck bracelet thing and these wonderful words. i read the card twice because it moved me so much. and i cried.
and it also says that i made it into the merit program. i laughed and cried and smiled so much that my mouth hurt all the way to buena.
i also got a birthday card...about a month later...from my aunt and uncle.
soo. tonight is the send off for my brother as he travels to arizona with his girlfriend. i'll miss him. but no more than i have my whole life. he was never here.
today in geometry we were listening to the postal service and some girls called it "boring" and i almost flipped out.
they wanted something more "upbeat."
fuck them.
i find it pathetic how david likes me and just won't give up. i'm not worth it. and he should take the hint that i don't like him.
oh well. his loss i guess.
today in pe i did the stairmaster thing and was pyschotically amused by the "rollercoaster" level. I had never used it before and i was just using it and laughing and freaking myself out.
speaking of rollercoasters, i think i'm going to magic mountain with amanda on saturday. if the parents allow me. i really wanted to go to the concert in TO tho...and I think they were gonna let me too.
Oh well.
I'm starving.