i've been such a horrible girl. drew and i broke up on wednesday. because i broke up with him. but i think he thinks we're going to get back together because all I really said was that I needed a break from it. I meant to say, "I can never be in a relationship ever again because I'm too dissatisfied with the emotions they bring along. I can't be depressed for the rest of my life and you not being there for me, not trusting me, not acting like a boyfriend, but yet at the same time making me worry, care about what I look like, think about how mean I can be, just doesn't work for me." But I was too scared I'd hurt him so I stuck with the whole "I'm not happy right now, I need a break," thing. Which is basically the gist of what I stated above. But on Thursday, Thursday I did naughty girl things. Like hook up with a boy. And Friday, Friday I did it again with another boy. (Whom I've been longing to do that with for a very long time.) But the thing is, the boy from Thursday likes me a lot. Let's call him Boy #1. The boy from Friday, Boy #2, and I agreed that we're sick and tired of relationships and we're just friends. So now I'm trying to get Boy #1 to stop liking me. Well tonight Drew sent me a message on Myspace saying how he wanted to "finish our talk from wednesday." First of all, there's nothing to finish. Second, why did he wait so long to say something? Okay well anyway, after going to Boy #2's house on Friday, walking to Simone's with him and being a total whore, getting picked up by my parents and getting Domino's with Tara and Marissa, Amanda came over. We went to the dance. Not enough money. We ran home, ride back to Buena. Nobody was there. But ADAM was and he's cute. None of us ever danced with him. But oh well. It was okay. We came home and watched 10 Things I Hate About You and talked and stuff. They all think I'm a slut I think. No, I know. Gosh and those bitches that came over started freaking out that I had a saved AIM conversation with Skylar on my desktop. Okay, I'm not letting Skylar cheat on you Tara, you're my best friend. Get over it. I'm so through with all types of relationships. And is it so bad that I enjoyed it just being my mom and I today? Is it so bad that sometimes I'd prefer if it was like that all the time? Maybe it is. But I love my dad. He got a portable DVD player for ...well I don't really know why, all I know is that he won't have it for long. It really bothers me how immature Drew is. Aw man at the dance last night I really talked to Justin. (ex-boyfriend) And it was great. I actually don't regret going out with him, he's really an awesome guy. Haha, he grew too. So basically I'm dreading how much work I'll have tomorrow. And next week. If it's anything like last week, I'm screwed.