I honestly feel bad for her, I do. But there's nothing I can do at this point but be by her side when she wants me to. If she doesn't open up to me first, I'm not even going to bother. It's a waste of my time. And my emotions. So anyway. The wedding was amazing because my uncle and Debbie are SO in love with each other. I've never seen anything like it. But it made my mom feel like shit because of my dad. Ever since I've been around, I can't recall a time when they told each other they loved each other or went on dates or anything. And I've always thought they shouldn't be together, but that they needed to be. Well my mom started crying at the reception which made me cry. And I had brought Tara along with me so she had no clue how to react, she didn't understand what was going on. Well my mom wants to go away for awhile now. Either Palm Springs or Ohio. I want to go to Ohio. (Yeah she's taking me.) I want to see my aunt and her boyfriend's son. I've never even seen pictures of him. But I don't know if we're actually going to do it next week or not. I want to ask her. Because I think I need to get away too. I think that when she has opinions, they get embedded into my brain too, and I start feeling things against people that she makes me realize. So at the moment, I'm not being very tolerable of my dad which makes me feel awful, because he's feeling awful. Everyone's turning against him. But that's what you get for being a workaholic. And on Sunday I had rehearsal but forgot my wax so my mouth was all cut up. It was fun though. Everyone was at least twice my age. Yesterday I stayed home from school because I got food poisoning the night before. I slept until 11:30 and woke up to the sound of rain pounding on the skylight and huge bursts of thunder. It was absolutely wonderful. I wasn't feeling bad anymore and just chilled for the rest of the day until I got ready to go to the concert in Lompoc. I love talking to Jocelyn. We had a lot of awesome conversations Sunday and Monday. Anyway, we played. StupidKeithclarinetguyIwannafuckingsockyouintheface. Afterward, we turned in our music and got paid. $180 is a lot more than I've ever been paid to play. Well $100 dollars more. So I'm still stoked on that. This week will be ok. Testing in dance won't be so bad. I'm not so worried about whether my partner knows the dance, as long as I look good. hah I just sounded really dumb. I think it's time for sleep. (just for a little)