words cannot describe how i felt when i got home. today i sorta like TAed for mrs.butler because i didn't want to be bored for an hour and a half. plus i love her 6th period class. amanda & i came home & tara was a meanie so we didn't go to her house. we partied. we went to starbucks in vons. we laid on the grass at buena. we had fun. we went to dinner. my parents were so fucking mean. i do believe they hate me for who i am. we went to the underground. i had the most fun. it was awesome. there were many hot guys. but i only looked. and i don't even care. which feels wonderful. too many boys today have tried convincing me i'm beautiful. these kids are crazy. i came home and took midol. no i didn't have cramps. i really need alcohol. any kind. tomorrow. my parents won't be home. we might go to a party. first real party. it's some senior i don't know. how we'd get there: i don't know. but my parents wouldn't find out. and i would have fun. and if we don't go then we'll see the play. maybe. i'm not really up to it this weekend though. "hey cutie." these boys have serious issues. fuck. well. i have to wake up early tomorrow for a garage sale. but if i don't sleep i won't wake up. i'll already be awake. chelsie and breana won't be there. oh well. i want to hop and skip and jump more and mosh and get hit in the face by someone's elbow and laugh until i cry until my stomach aches and my muscles contract and then i won't be able to breathe and i'll try speaking but i can't because i can't breathe and people will stare and laugh at me, not with me, and i will have no problem with that whatsoever.