(EDIT at the end) This is bad. This is worse than usual. Why the fuck did she do this to everyone??? Okay let's just start by saying that yesterday me, Marissa and Tara went to Tara's to go swimming. Well Matt and Skylar came over and like usual, Matt wasn't being very nice to Marissa. (But doesn't she know he's just a dick like that?) Well after swimming we went upstairs to play truth or dare. Stupid gross things. Marissa was dared to drink this nasty liquour with gross things floating in it. But I didn't dare her to do it. It was Tara's turn but Marissa wouldn't do anything she wanted so Matt dared her to do this and of course she did it. Well everything was fine after that, Matt took me home, Tara to the game and Marissa to Skylar's house with Skylar and Matt (alone). I was feeling awful because I had to cancel on Michael again and like my parents were really pissed at me. But I went to the game anyway after I took a shower. I was so worried about Marissa all night, hoping she wouldn't get drunk. I wanted to go to Skylar's to make sure nothing happened. But I couldn't. Because I knew they wouldn't want me there if I wasn't with another boy (or even girl). I would have been the 5th wheel again. But anyway, Tara went over to Skylar's after the game. We all got a ride from Amanda's brother. (He scared me.) Well I just went home, went online and watched My Girl 2. But at like 12:00 we got a phone call. It was Marissa's mom and I got really scared thinking maybe she didn't know where she was or something. But that wasn't it. Marissa had gotten really drunk. And she started asking me all of these questions. And I answered them but I was so scared and I was shaking and it was the worst feeling in the world, knowing I could have been there for her, and knowing that it was probably Matt who supplied her with the alcohol. And telling her mom this, she says "I don't think she's going to be hanging out with Matt anymore." But did she not already know that the boys drink ALL the time? Because everyone else's parents knew, even Skylar's own mom is OK with it. I called Tara right after and we were both really scared because if Marissa's mom had called her parents, none of us would be allowed to go into the upstairs room EVER again because her parents would be so pissed about the alcohol. I think she was crying too. And believe me, I was feeling everything, but I couldn't cry. So I just went to sleep, still shaking. And this morning, my mom called, saying that Marissa's mom had called her. And from the way my mom sounded, she really doesn't want me drinking or doing any of this, so I don't think I'm going to drink ever again. Marissa's mom also told her that I wanted to protect her or something, which made me really happy because at least she understood that and her mom won't hate me anymore. But that doesn't mean I have to stop something else. Because I honestly do need it. I do. I really want and need to call Marissa but I'm so scared her mom won't let her talk to me. This is not good. What's it going to be like on Monday?? I just can't believe...she'd do this. Knowing everything it could ruin for everyone, not just her. ------------------------------- Edit: I forgot to say that Matt told me that Skylar told him that he still likes Marissa...and me. And that he said "It's funny because Lauren and I liked each other at the same time but we never went out. The only thing that's stopping me from going out with her is Tara." It's awful. And last night Eric Graves randomly IMed me and it was great. He's never said a word to me, even though we have the same world history class and all of a sudden he wouldn't shut up.