"i have like nothing to do this summer :- i wish i could hang out with you. we have to hang out babe"- who are u today...blah. some weird things. the only thing that comes to mind when i think of today is my skirt and thats kinda superficial. im still pissed about some things..like friendships that are over for no reason..and i miss some people so much, even though u would never tell. and i hate myself so much for waiting out so long with the bowie tickets. its not gonna sell out..im just gonne be sitting with the other losers on the goddamn lawn. which is better than nothing..but still. all in all though, nothing is terrible and it hasnt been for a while. im in this weird mood though. i dont feel like myself. im lonely :-( anyway, hey i might be completely wrong, but sometimes i get the feeling that people just do things to impress people. ok actually i know thats true. but about specific things, especially music and books..i feel like people flaunt it to prove something to other people. why does everyone feel like they always have something to prove to everyone. i love the normal people so much more than the outspoken...i cant exlpain it, but with these people, i feel like theyre so awesome in everything they do except they dont have to brag about it to validate themselves. no one knows what i listen to at home. maybe thats why they think i eat sleep and breathe bowie. but its not true. i wish i could find someone like me. does this make any sense at all? it scares me, cuz i have this picture in my head of the person i think i am. except it seems like other people dont see me like that. so there are either 2 things that could be going on here; i havent found anyone that i can really be myself around, or - the person i think i am isnt really who i am. it scares me a lot sometimes..the same way that apocalypse does, and i dont know why i get so terrified over something so dumb. OH YAH - I ALMOST FORGOT! i have an obsession with guys who dont fuck their hair up. ahh its so hot when u guys stop putting shit in ur hair and making it all gross. yay! and jesus, im so sick of my mom being up my ass all the time. is this normal? mother fucker i have so much to do. oh, and im gonna try this thing that i see in everyone elses journal, so basically, ask me 3 questions on whatever u want ill answer whatever u ask me and u dont have to leave ur name for all i care. i know how being seen on my journal is bad for ur rep guys. i hope more than 0 people answer this, but im guessing they wont.