since nicoles pathetic little existence revolves around this sad excuse for a journal, i'll see what i can do about a decent update. i saw Magnolia last night. what an awesome movie. tom cruise (who usually sucks in anything other than action movies) did surprisingly well as the grossest, skeeviest creep i've ever seen. i'm not lying when i say i started gaggin he was so gross. and then some frogs fell from the sky. actually, millions of frogs fell from the sky. if you know what i mean. which you dont. friday night was friendlys. we talked about embarrassing moments, bonded, truly became a tight knit little group. jkjkjkjkjk. < - - jk. anyway, now i have a crew. ssp. and no one is allowed to know what it means because this is holmdel and everyone HAS TO HAVE retarded little gangs to make themselves look cool. or even more stupid than they really are. whatever. back to friendlys. we came in the nearly empty restaurant around 11 30 and waited for them to decide where to seat us. finding a waiter in a restaurant with 8 other customers can be a bitch. the other table hit on shady, the waiter. no no. his nametag actually read "shady." shady, the sketchy waiter who works the late shift at friendlys. a white hair was found in a cheeseburger. the cheeseburger was still eaten. straws changed color according to temperatre. fun. gummy bears were thrown into mouthes, down shirts, etc. like i said, the table next to us, filled with other holmdel 07' alum hit on the sketchy waiter. we threw up. blah blah blah. blah blah blah. oh yeah. before that was the musical. it was swell. the 1 milosecond kisses got all hot and steamy. but all kidding aside, the people in the musical all have amazing voices. i really hope they make it on broadway or something. that would make me feel special. yesterday my mom and i went shopping. i tried on bathing suits. i feel bad for starting this summer shit again, but i will anyway. i feel fat. i've gotten fat. i dont know what to do. i feel like a fat lard ass and i hate it. i hate looking in mirror and seeing this big tub of lard and now all my friends will kill me but fuck you guys. im so sick of being told to shut up if i feel bad about my weight. just because im not obese doesnt mean im not allowed to have weight problems so everyone who is reading this better listen the fuck up and back the fuck off. im just SO SICK of people fucking telling me how im allowed to feel about myself. if i feel some way about myself no one in the fucking world has the right to tell me im not allowed to feel that way or make me feel bad about it. i hope none of you become psychologists you will seriously fuck some people up. jesus christ. wow. i kinda worked myself up there didnt i. phew. i hate bathing suits. theyre disgusting. skin is disgusting. no one shold be allowed to show it. well maybe a little pinky here and there is alright but other than that, i am a big supporter of the muslim dress code. no no. i'll stop that ok. and on top of that, i havent talked to zander in a while and its driving me crazy. and the last conversation i had with lauritta counts for shit because she was too stoned to have a normal conversation. the point of this doesnt exist, dont try to find one, bye.