i hate today so much. i hate the people and the weather and the math and my parents and the summer and the STUPID FINALS and this fucking concert that ive been waiting for, for so so so long. and i absolutely hate people with BAD HORRIBLE DISGUSTING BREATH that i have to be a bitch to so that they get away from me. i wish i could go to bowie so much. i would be so happy there, i know it. whatever, he better not die cuz im gonna wait as long as i have to for another tour. and i wanna get a car so badly, so i could just go out and crash into stuff. yeah that would feel so good right about now. [much later] i was sitting in my parents room when i heard some noise so i opened their door and heard music, but i wasnt sure if it was my neighbors or not..then i realized that it was bowie at pnc singing 'all the young dudes' and after much freaking out over that, my mom and i got in the car and drove to pnc...we didnt hear shit so we went home. and now i have no idea why im here, im always tired but i never let myself go to sleep. and i needed to go to bowie. so much, i cant explain it. i just remember the last time i was there...the only thing i can compare it to is how gabs said she felt when she went to green day and bright eyes. and i wanted to relive it. but as far as tonight goes, i downloaded 4000 songs and im really getting into the postal service. i used to listen to really fast, 'i will pump u up' kind of music, and now i guess my tastes are kind of mellowing out. oh yea, and check this kid out. i was just looking around online and i found this kids lj. it scared me. hes so openly racist and just completely fucked up in general. actually, hes the epitome of all the rumors that used to be spread around about me. hey! waddaya know kids. http://www.livejournal.com/users/bloodovchrist fucking neo-nazi, i hope u burn. i hope my birthday makes me really really happy, god i need it. and finals better not be killer, even though i know they will be. i saw jen today. shes skinny. and shes got her indian friend karim (my made up name for him, since i completely forgot what it really is) with the spinners. so yea. today, rebecca said that i made her laugh out loud 3 times online. shoot, i was gonna post part of the convo in here but i closed it. anyway, the decided reason for me actually being funny today was, as she said "maybe its jsut because ur pathetic right now" (something like that). gotta love the girl. how weird. i didnt call her turnip, oh well, i guess its time for a new name and im getting tired of using vegetables. my mom and i were talking about gwyneth and her apple. what the fuck. im naming my kid prune. i need a lot of kids now, so i can use all the names u wanna use. theres gonna be little pruney, cletus, dickwad..and i forgot the rest, this is the really old family tree my mom thought of for me when she was drunk or tired or something like that nicole leah kofman-----jarome joshua finkelstein I I buba moses finkelstein----gertrude chubaka frink I __________ I __________ / I / moonshine f. bark finkelstein branch f. I (marries jerstude blechter) I no future generations I dies I glactose patricia feigelbaum (on&on) uhh. its completely messed up right? whatever. god bowie. gabry says there are gonna be more tours, otherwise it would say "last tour". i hope shes right. now its time to talk about things absolutely no one cares about -yesterday i saw harry potter. it was ok, the books are better, but we all knew that anyway. -the whole guy situation is so messed up. its a complete mystery to me why guys always turn out to be complete shit. or pussys...whatever, i dont know why i even bother. its always like a big chase with me..my people know what im taling about, and i always end up turned off, or uninterested in that person in the end. im gonna cheat on my husband, i know it. isnt that sad. but it scares me to never get married..but then it scares me that i might wind up being one of those normal people who have the pretty little house with the nice neighborhood and kids and bla bla..cuz that doesnt appeal to me, i want something more. but im sure everyone does, most people just dont get it. i just dont want a monotonous life. hs and college are just the same kind of day, repeated year after year, it sometimes feels like im reliving the same day over and over, nothing changes, the people may change a bit, but theyre all the same on the inside as they always were. and im just wondering whats the point of college and high school if its just a way to make yourself another life of monotony, ur gonna be doing different things than u used to, but its still going to become a routine. what am i talking about. i wish i went to bowie. i was on a hiatus-like thing from him, and now im so back on track, and i missed it. i want to go to sleep, my back hurts, and my heads rolling over cuzi cant keeep it up, but i just dont wanna go to bed. i wish i knew about some things that i dont. why cant guys ever be open with their feelings? i know thats kind of hypocritical of me to say, especially because when it comes to stuff like saying how u feel, i cant ever do it..but guys are the ones with balls...literally and figuratively, so ur the ones supposed to be all up in our faces about whats going on. ya hurrd. some people are so hard to read though. sometimes i feel the need to grap some people by their shirts and shake them really hard. i dont do that for a few reasons, and one of them being that i am just too short to be able to pick up a guy and shake the sense into him, his legs are still gonna be on the floor and whats the point in that. if hes short enough for me to lift him off the floor, im not dealing with boys like that (shallow as that may sound, i dont care...im 5 frigen 2 for gods sake, there are like 2 guys shorter than me in the US). time for tubby bye bye. good night tinky winky, good night dipsy, good night laa-laa, good night po, poo poo, pee pee, all u other little shits. good night. (bowie :-( ) ps in honor of the concert, i updated the lj and changed the music on my xanga. like anyone cares. http://www.livejournal.com/users/dont_complain http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=mychild