i need to pick myself up. i dont know why this is happening again, everything was fine before. i dont know whats going on now. something's snapped, i want to make it go away. i feel abandoned and i feel like shit for...abandoning. i am truly The Bitch. i want a change, i want what *they* have. i need someone, and i need worthiness, and someone to understand, and i need someone to care and i dont know why im feeling this again. please please go away. wow, subconscious attention seeking? lets hope not /end self-depracating bullshit. on a lighter note, my mom got a new table cloth and i think it looks quite nice.