umm i basically waste my life in front of the tv. this has been one of the weirdest days of my life. something very BIG happened..and there was a revelation (not mine). i love socks so much. new socks that are white and short and clean. lovelove. im scared about my summer. im scared im losing people from last summer. i need a summer job. its weird how one day is amazing and the next day is not so amazing. its really weird sometimes. im scared i wont have someone to love me until im 75. and then ill only have about 5 years of love and itll be too hard to have sex because of my arthritis and because we'll be too wrinkly and his penis will have shrunken to the size of a peanut so all we'll do is just sit and eat soup together and talk about dentures and diapers and then we'll die. reefer madness sketches me out like whoa. eveyone wants attention&everyone pushes everyone away even when theyre given attention.ok then maybe its only me. its not the best thing to admit but people are lying if they say thats not true. unless theyre really ugly. in which case, yes, then they really dont want attention. im scared about japanese-ing my hair. im scared about my curls. im scared i wont ever see them again and then what will i do? im scared about pretty much everything. im scared about...your foot. i always get scared that im boring or annoying people& i think theyll leave me. i need to stop telling people that im annoying and boring in order to compensate for being boring and annoying so that they wont get...bored and/or annoyed. because when i do that...its annoying. people never stick around for the bad stuff. people think that just because they know theres bad stuff, thats enough...instead of actually BEING there through it. i like to chase..things...and people...even when i dont care about them. because of...god. whenever you need to talk to someone, no one picks up their goddamn telephones. i confuse things and myself too much, and i got really weird yesterday for no reason. ok maybe not...yes reason. people who think theyre gods gift because theyre a part of something...well they are.