shdfjsahdf i make everything so complicated in my mind. i overanalyze and get emotional about everything. i feel so ungrateful for what i have, always wanting something more and never feeling satisfied. i've found one love that doesn't compare to anything i've ever felt before, it's amazing ♥ but with everything about to change so fast, i don't know what to expect and i'm scared. i'm going to wake up one morning and reality is going to hit me - a big part of my life and heart won't be there : [ my friends and i grew farther apart with time, and i blame myself for that. it's hard to explain what i'm feeling, especially when i've got so many thoughts running through my mind i don't know exactly what i'm thinking. there's only so much you can do in this town, or in a day. but i feel like i'm not doing everything i can do. i don't want to waste my days sitting in front of the computer or tv, i want to do something different, something fun, and go somewhere else. in the past few years, i've lost my passion for religion and God. it's sad, i used to live for it. it gave me a reason for life, now i'm not so sure anymore and doubt fills my mind. i don't know what to believe, but i miss what i used to love.