i can feel myself going insane today. today is the day that everyone bothers the shit out of me, along with myself. i don't understand how i get in these moods of mine. i kind of do, but i don't understand why i put myself in the situations that i do. i don't even know, i just feel depressed today. i don't know what to do about mike, and he wants me to go hang out with him and jeff tonight but i would be such a bitch. i still haven't gotten a hold of nick about prom so i'm thinking about iming him and telling him it just isn't going to work. i seriously am dreading prom to an extreme. i should have just not bought a bid, or two i guess. i just texted meg, the meg i was inseparable from for so long. i need to talk to her, i need to apologize. it tears me inside everytime i see her. i don't know why i did what i did, or how it happened. i thought we would grow old being the way we were, i never lied when i told her that. i got stuck in a rut of my own mind, and i need to get out of it. she guided me and helped me through so much, and i need her to know how much she has done for me and how much i am sorry for what happened. there's too many things in my life that i don't have answers to, and this is one of them. and i can do something about this one thing, and i need to. i feel like i can't go on with life without talking to her. and thank god she is who she is and i know she will always be there for me no matter what, as i would do for her although i am not sure she would ever think of that. i just need to do something.